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Feb 27, 2010, 04:24 PM
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HeavyCruser9's Avatar
Yeah Mate I spent a fortune on booze over the 4 days of the race! It was about $5(Aus) for a can of Beer (but good beer!!)and about $10 for a Bourbon/coke! I was hung over for about 2 days after !! But Hell'va Experience!

Cheers Bruce
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Mar 09, 2010, 05:13 PM
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not necesarily a story about the sea but a good tail

Since is about this time of year (the 24 hours at Daytona) I thought I would tell this one from about 15 years ago.
ESPN (which was really just starting out) goes to the pits as the race is getting set (qualifying, tire testing, changing setups, etc.). They visit the pits of NASCAR legend Bill Elliot, (NASCAR stockers are all built to the same plan so they are actually considered 'production' (more than 200 examples built) cars) and there have been entered in the 24hrs race (suitably modified with bigger brakes, different clutch/trans, and of course, headlights), they ask Ernie Elliot what the engine in the car (a Ford Thunderbird) is he is told that it is a 380CU stockcar motor with 16 valves. They ask (like they were really going to get a real answer (especially from Ernie Elliot)) and get the reply of something over 500 horsepower (even the NASCAR guys today admit to getting something over 650 on a restricter plate motor)!
They go down to the Porsche pit (the 962's had qualified from 1st to 8th, with only a single Jag in the first three rows), they step to the rear of the car and all you can see is the huge cooling fan on it. They ask the mechanic what motor is in there, the engineer replied that it was a 2.0 liter flat 12 with four turbos and 48 valves. When again they ask the dumb question, the Porsche people admit that the cars are turning out over 800 HP (yeah right)!
The Porches were all but unstoppable winning everything but the GTU class that year (of course one of the 25 RX-7's won that), and finishing first through fifth overall.
P.S. Popular Science (I think) went to Talladega that year with a Porsche 962, an Indy car, and Bill Elliot's number 9 (now driven by Casey Kaine). The two rednecks (Bill and Ernie Elliot) from Dawsonville, GA (with a little tweaking of the aero on the car (some tape)) managed to get the red and gold T-Bird to run 227 miles an hour for a lap!Faster than either of the other two (the Porsche was set up with the 'long tail' and taller gearing for LeMans and unable to wind it out to full song) but still not too bad for a 3800lb stocker on a high bank!
Mar 10, 2010, 10:15 AM
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This is the last racing story I will post but I have always enjoyed this one......
There is a die hard Chevy Corvette fan named Bob Greenwood who, for over 20 years would take a stock Vette (purchased for a Daytona Beach dealer) and modify it just enough to get into the 24hours at Daytona race (Roll Cage, Fuel Cell, fire extinquisher), Basically the cars were as close to a stock Corvette as you could get. When they asked him what was the neatest thing about driving a Vette in the 24 hours? He replied, "listening to AC/DC on the CD player at 2am while running at 165 on the high bank, at least it will keep you awake!"
For over 20 years he entered the Vette and every year the Vette would die sometime during the race (transmission, brake, an clutch failures were the most common causes). After it's demise, Greenwood would have the car scrapped (usually not worth trying to fix the enormous wear and tear on the car(s)). Eventually after some 15 years GM started to notice that this crazy guy was racing one of their cars, not the multimillion dollar racing team but a guy and bunch his friends racing a stock Vette. They bought the remains of that years Vette and decided that Greenwood had put more wear and tear on the car than a normal owner would in 5 years (in one week from qualifying to having it die during the race). The next year when Greenwood entered the race he was driving a new Vette given to him by General Motors, with the proviso that he return the car to them afterwards! The Vettes continued to die, year after year...but a little longer each year. Finally in 2005 they had a breakthrough the car didn't die (it had an accident in the very early AM)! The next year they finished! GM and Greenwood were ecstatic, in 25 years of trying they had never had a Vette (not professionally prepared) finish a 24 hour race.
P.S. in the late 80's Greenwood prepared several cars to enter the race modified for performance; with the biggest engines available from GM in Greenwood's own shop (he is a GM dealer). The "king of the hill" Vettes were never a threat to win the race but they did prove that if you stuff enough engine in a small chassis you can at least compete (they were ill-handling, and due to their increased weight from the big motors, had lousy brakes)
Mar 10, 2010, 10:25 AM
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Link from

Figured y’all could use a visual, sure makes me smile…..
Mar 10, 2010, 10:28 AM
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Sorry here is pic.
Mar 10, 2010, 11:41 PM
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I think that may have been one of the king of the hill ones, the stockers were basically just that....stock. I don't know I didn't do a lot of research on it just remembered the story from a friend.
Mar 11, 2010, 09:14 AM
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Me either Foo but the cars are awesome looking and I couldn’t help but post a picture and that one was the nicest I found in my rather quick search. Also here’s a link if anyone would like to see more of the Greenwood cars. I would also say thank you again Foo for the great stories and please keep them coming.
Mar 11, 2010, 05:04 PM
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Wonder what he could do with one of the race prepared C6's that run up front (against the Vipers and Ferrari's)? I have a friend who is a long time endurance guy (12 runs at Daytona) who said he was (is?) a genuinely nice guy, and gentleman who was smart enough to know what he and the vettes could do. Never had to be told when someone faster racing for position was around him and he needed to move over (Terry has been in both faster and slower cars than him) so others could race.
P.S. remembered a sea story (or 20) and will get back on topic when I get a chance
Mar 11, 2010, 09:08 PM
Airplane crasher
CapMike's Avatar

Told by a Coastie

As some of you know I run a T boat taking crew and supplies to ships at anchorage. The other day I had to take the Coast Guard out for an inspection of a ship.
We were waiting for another passenger to arrive we were talking about thier older posts. One related that they were doing drug insurgence runs off the coast of Mexico.
He was 19 and wet behind the ears on the 50 mount on the bow. Nervous and an itchy finger. They were chasing a go fast they thought was a drug boat off the coast. The boat turned and started running back at them.
The counter measures mount started firing off at the boat coming at them shooting flares. This nervous kid was uncertain whether he should start pumping rounds when they were hailed by the other boat to stop firing. Turns out it was the Mexican navy doing the same as they were.
Wow we trust these kids in our harbor's kinda makes me a bit nervous.
Mar 11, 2010, 09:13 PM
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CapMike's Avatar

A joke I heard from a friend.

A co-worker of my friend is a CG reservist. He was at the Christmas party when the husband of another worker who was retired navy started talking to him.
He asked the Coastie that he heard there was a height requirement of 6 foot. The guy was shorter than that. The guy asked why is that? He stated that he thought the requirement was so they could walk to shore when the boat sank...

Had to get this thread back on topic Take it away Foo
Mar 12, 2010, 03:25 AM
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hadn't heard a good Coastie joke for a while! I hadn't heard that one at all before ROFL!! Puddle Pirates are some of my favorite people (although I wouldn't let my sister marry one), I do admit that what they do is important and the jobs they are doing now in the Gulf are not quite 'Guarding the Coast' (at least not ours), having said that they do a fine job(s) in the Gulf.
P.S. there should be a thread (somewhere on the net) for just Coast Guard jokes (and references like 'Puddle Pirates")
Mar 12, 2010, 08:42 AM
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I think the CG ought to patrol the Rio Grande, then continue all the way across to San Diego.

Mar 12, 2010, 09:44 AM
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Some other Coast Guard jokes can be viewed/swiped from here
An example posted below

"A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.

"I always knew God would take care of us," said the composed five year old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home.

"I like to hear you say that," beamed the mother. "Always remember that God is in His heaven watching over us."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about THAT God," the five year old interrupted. "I was talking about the COAST God." "
Mar 12, 2010, 05:56 PM
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You know of course why the Costies can never run aground right?

Because the training wheels on the bottom of the boats won't let them!
Mar 18, 2010, 04:07 AM
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new ship new problems

I was blessed with my first ship (Claude V. Ricketts DDG-5). We ran her hard and she performed, did everything we asked of her and got us home and to where the action was (NATO cruise(s), Lebanon, Grenada), and home again. She was old (same age I was), but she was a great ship. I tore up a shoulder and missed half my second Med cruise. I took an opportunity to go back to San Diego for my last year and a half. I called the detailer and he sent me to the U.S.S. Ingersoll (DD-990) a four year old Spruance class homeported there. I figured that since I had been on a great, but crowded and little old, destroyer a newer one would be great. Yeah right!
I arrived in San Diego and was greeted by the sight of a 596 foot long parade float that was stuck alongside the pier. She had failed her OPPE (Operational Propulsion Plant Examination), not once, not twice, but three times. Now to explain an OPPE is an open book test of the procedures and steps to properly running an engineering plant in the Navy. For anyone to have failed an OPPE was beyond my comprehension, to have failed three was mind boggling. The procedures manuals literally have a magnet on the back of them so you can stick them to the bulkhead at the piece of equipment you are dealing with. Amongst the failures was; record keeping (especially qualifications), fire fighting, maintainance, basic procedures (how do you fail that step 1, step 2, etc.), and safety. Basically the entire exam.
She was stuck alongside the pier unable to even light off the plant until they passed the exam. The Captain had just fired his third Chief Engineer (this one hand picked, formerly an instructor from the school that trains operators on that kind of plant), and the Exec was filling in, again (trying to restore moral, and practical knowledge to the engineers), while dealing with a series of material problems that resulted in no fewer than ten technical reps from almost every manufacturer that had anything to do with the plant.
It took two months for the tech-reps to get the plant straightened out and find another CHENG. This one, had literally had his stuff in the moving van and his family was on the plane headed for Mayport FL, as Exec of a brand new frigate, when they hijacked him to us. You can tell how much he thought of that idea! He had just bought a house in Mayport, and was stuck in San Diego. The man was not a happy camper, nor over what was basically a demotion to be CHENG on this beercan (Spruances all have aluminum superstuctures, later 'armor (one inch of aluminum)' was applied to superstructure). Man he hit that ship with a bang! He had the snipes (engineers) running 14 hours days, fired all the tech-reps (the ship pays for them out of their maintainance budget) off the ship, and, since he lived aboard, required all his officers in his department to work port and starboard duty (one day on duty one day off). He threatened to make it port and report duty (always on)!
It took him three weeks to straighten them out. But they passed, barely, and at least we could start working up for the next cruise.....
More stories of the Ingerd*ck (as we less than affectionately referred to her) later.