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Jan 21, 2002, 06:47 AM
Registered User
Don Sims's Avatar
Rave

"Out of the mouths of babes!" These are cute!


As the saying goes ...
"Out of the mouths of babes!"
These are cute!

>A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers
>passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat,
>the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me
>Daddy, I'm under five."
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his
>cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
>
>"Sixteen," the boy responded.
>
>His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you
>know that?"
>
>"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like
>the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
>
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>
>After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
>announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when
>I grow up."
>
>"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
>
>"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
>anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than
>to sit and listen."
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>A 6- year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
>service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
>passed trash against us."
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon." How do you
>know what to say?" he asked.
>
>"Why, God tells me."
>
>"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
>
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>
>A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and
>on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if
>we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny
>sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked
>him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That
>priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want
>to stay with you guys!"
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their
>favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which
>showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it
>was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
>
>"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri
>said.
>
>"But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot.
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
>say prayers before eating?"
>
>"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good
>cook."
>
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>A college drama group presented a play in which one character would
>stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand
>below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the
>character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the
>actor playing the part became ill, another
>actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor
>announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and
>the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of
>tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the
>balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First
>Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety
>seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still
>and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and
>whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose
>his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' It
>worked."
>
> ><>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< + <>< +<>< + <>< + <>< + <><
>
>A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a
>bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the
>book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately
>stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up,
>"Grandpa, did God make you?"
>
>"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
>
>"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
>
>"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
>
>Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting
>better at it, isn't he?"
>
Jan 21, 2002, 09:08 AM
Registered User
Yeah, okay Don, some of them are cute. But I think you have WAY too much time on your hands!
Quote:
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Jan 21, 2002, 06:28 PM
Registered User
Don Sims's Avatar
Actually DB, I just cut em and paste em... Besides that, I try to appease the broadest audience possible with jokes across the spectrum... And yes, I really do have too much time on my hands....


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