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Apr 05, 2013, 10:21 AM
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Thread OP
Rave

I wanna be illegal too!!!


FORMS ARE GOING FAST- SIGN UP TODAY!


Becoming Illegal
(Actual letter from an Iowa resident sent to his senator.)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC , 20510


Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car. If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA)
D. R.
Burlington, IA


Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040
Apr 05, 2013, 10:28 AM
Registered User
lol
where can i sign up
Apr 05, 2013, 10:36 AM
Gravity-Compliant User
Zaurak3's Avatar
Dagnab it! Now I'm going to have to support you guys too!







(errr... is a pdf version of this form available? )
Apr 05, 2013, 11:01 AM
BE77 Pilot's Avatar
Good ol' USA.
Apr 05, 2013, 11:07 AM
Closed Account
Stupid thing is that he doesn't need to become an "illegal alien" to stop paying taxes or insurance premiums. Even illegals are supposed to pay income tax, and insurance where applicable. The guy's logic escapes me.
Apr 05, 2013, 11:20 AM
Registered User
Quote:
Originally Posted by thunder1
Stupid thing is that he doesn't need to become an "illegal alien" to stop paying taxes or insurance premiums. Even illegals are supposed to pay income tax, and insurance where applicable. The guy's logic escapes me.
Correction: Citizens get prosecuted for not paying insurance, and taxes illegal aliens do not.

There are many who want police policies that prevent police from even pulling over a person of color, regardless of what action they have engaged in.
Apr 05, 2013, 11:23 AM
Closed Account
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gooroo
Correction: Citizens get prosecuted for not paying insurance, and taxes illegal aliens do not.
Prove it.

Quote:
There are many who want police policies that prevent police from even pulling over a person of color, regardless of what action they have engaged in.
Huh? How that fits in this conversation is another bit of logic I don't understand.
Apr 05, 2013, 12:02 PM
Redacted per NSA "suggestion"
dedStik's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by thunder1
Prove it.
No need, as a US citizen you would be penalized either by paying taxes and resulting late fees or paying the late fees and incarcerated. Being illegal and caught not paying taxes worst you'd be looking at is getting deported.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thunder1
Huh? How that fits in this conversation is another bit of logic I don't understand.
Racial profiling. If it's illegal to profile someone based on race then one could argue an illegal immigrant driving a car was pulled over solely on the basis of race.
Apr 05, 2013, 12:21 PM
Registered User
Quote:
Originally Posted by dedStik
No need, as a US citizen you would be penalized either by paying taxes and resulting late fees or paying the late fees and incarcerated. Being illegal and caught not paying taxes worst you'd be looking at is getting deported.
Deported ? for that ?
This adminstration believes tax cheats should be promoted
Apr 05, 2013, 05:22 PM
Registered User
Quote:
Originally Posted by thunder1
Prove it.


Huh? How that fits in this conversation is another bit of logic I don't understand.
Ilegals are not prosecuted for entering the country illegaly. How does the IRS find them if they don't pay taxes, don't have an SS number and move in and out of the country all the time??? They can't.

When an illegal Mexican gets pulled over for no insurance he gets a ticket that he never pays. In Texas and every other state, if they are driving without a license they just get sent on their way. There is no stop in jail, unless there is a prior record. It's a joke.
Apr 05, 2013, 05:57 PM
Chillin till SEFF
bildo baggins's Avatar
True! Illegals stole my speakers out of my car in San Diego. They recovered one and caught one guy. When asked if I wanted to drive 6.5 hrs back to prosecute I asked if it would do me any good. The detective said "No. We'll process, deport and he will be back in a week stealing again"
Apr 06, 2013, 12:01 AM
Closed Account
Quote:
Originally Posted by dedStik
No need, as a US citizen you would be penalized either by paying taxes and resulting late fees or paying the late fees and incarcerated. Being illegal and caught not paying taxes worst you'd be looking at is getting deported.
It all depends on the case the government has against them. Tax cases involving any American making minimum wage usually result in minimal consequences, if they are even investigated to begin with. There is a point at which the government decides it's not worth prosecuting the case if they plead guilty and agree to pay a fine. It has nothing to do with them being illegal. It has to do with expediency.

Quote:
Racial profiling. If it's illegal to profile someone based on race then one could argue an illegal immigrant driving a car was pulled over solely on the basis of race.
Ridiculous.


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