Raffles! Awesome. You think it was an accident that I paid cash for those two planes and built the travel time into my work day?

I've gotten one or two things from the free section of the classifieds here, I was the winner of a plucking recently from ATTF, and several of my flying buddies have gifted me full planes at different times, so the wife is accustomed to things coming in the door without seeing things on the cards.

Originally Posted by BrownEyedFool

Raffles! Awesome. You think it was an accident that I paid cash for those two planes and built the travel time into my work day?

I've gotten one or two things from the free section of the classifieds here, I was the winner of a plucking recently from ATTF, and several of my flying buddies have gifted me full planes at different times, so the wife is accustomed to things coming in the door without seeing things on the cards.

Hah.. Nice !

RC see is a hobby.
A photographer doesn't have just one camera and one lens. If you could only have and fly one plane this hobby might get boring real fast.

I can sypathize with the OP. My wife tries to check on every dime I spend and then goes off on some tirade about saving money.. yada yada yada while she wastes it on items she never uses and spends much more than I ever did on RC. This argument got old and dispite the obvious facts some how I could never win.

To shut her up (I mean, to diffuse the situation and create a happy loving household) Everything is paid for now via paypal. She has no access to that info. If a plane arrives I say I traded one of my other planes for it. No more arguments.

Hmm, I am truly more fortunate than I realize. My wife at times "forces" me to make purchases. She will see something on the screen I am looking at, and say "what is that", and I will explain and tell her I have been thinking of something like it.... she usually will say, why dont you just order it/buy it? She recently did this with my DX18, then two weeks later a DX8 for a backup-smaller stuff. I have 3 unbuilt ARFs in the shop, and one more on the way.... all because she wants me to have this stuff.

No she is not covering for anything, as I married her 3 years ago, after I was divorced for 4 from a 13 year nightmare of a marriage, and her a 10 year nightmare of a marriage. I took in her 4 kids ages 3-5-7-9 all as my own. Its just her nature, and her "thanks" for all that I did do in the beginning to "save" them from the horrible "life" they were in.

She never asks for anything, but I do catch her looking at things once in a while.... recently she had been looking at the new iPad, so off we went to get that....... the only hobby she has is knitting..... she has made me some really nice prop covers knitting.



Advice to others, do not hide it...... that only makes it worse. Dont ignore the other half either... try to include or balance the time with both. It is a hobby, not a way of life. Well it once was a way of life for me, as it was an escape from my horrible marriage,,, but in the end, I would rather enjoy life and the hobby both ..... rather than using it for an escape..... so take my advice and some others..... things will only get worse if you hide things...... I am 41, not 14 and hiding my actions from my parents....... I treat my wife as an individual, that deserves to make her own decisions, and she treats me the same way.

When I decide to work Sundays, I use that for my hobby money. The other six days to go the family. Doesn't actually leave a lot of time to do the hobbies but when things get slow I have plenty to keep me busy! It doesn't really matter how many or what kind of hobbies you have, you are always going to get called out when you sneak money out of the budget...or worse max out the credit card. Use a debit card as self-restraint. We all have way to many hobbies. If you are good to your family they will give you a lot of latitude....or maybe I should say altitude!

Originally Posted by Steve_A_Reno

RC see is a hobby.

I can sypathize with the OP. My wife tries to check on every dime I spend and then goes off on some tirade about saving money.. yada yada yada while she wastes it on items she never uses and spends much more than I ever did on RC.

A friend of mine went through something similar. The wife moaning and groaning about his investment into the RC world. He was at wits end. I reminded him that his wife had about $11,000 worth of knick-knacks hanging on the walls of the house, just to make the house would look just picture perfect.

After he pointed that out to her, she shut up. Truth hurts. Of course I think he did threaten to take some of the stuff off the wall and sell it for RC parts money.

Sounds alot like "tit for tat" going on out there.

She wastes $1 and I waste $1. (1-1) = 0 . Or not?

Were talking disposable income here. Not pre-assigned for bills.

Thats $2 you could have paid down your debt. Sounds expensive in the long run...

Be sure to own your "stuff" and don't ever let it own you... Scrap those "usery" credit cards for sure if possible.

The rich have a whole lot of disposable income they can treat as "mad money". Thats why the blue collar guys want higher taxes on the rich.

You and the wife are a team. Having seperate accounts that are secret is just asking for spending problems. Doubles the waste and makes you work alot longer to retire.

I imagine it is 'tit for tat' for some. All relationships are different. Some wives don't care as long as the bills are paid and some money is saved. Some wives resent the husband spending money on RC, yet at the same time they will spend several hundred dollars a month at the beauty salon and nail salon.

Working wives probably care less than the at home wives, or so my experience has been. This being they have a career, can pay bills and most importantly, they are also indulging themselves with something that holds their interest.

At home wives/mothers are usually nesters and some often think that every spare dime has to be saved or spent on the house. They will spend in one year what I spend on the hobby, just to hang pretty little things on the wall. Seriously, I have seen plenty of walls with thousands of dollars of 'trinkets' hanging on them.

Some wives don't care about the money spent and they view the hobby as something the entire family can take part in. If the wife can't be bothered to come out with the husband and kids and take part in the hobby then the chances are high that she will never be happy .... unless of course you are out taking part in her hobby or other interests.

I have found that men who are open and honest with the wife about the hobby money are men who are lucky to have a wife that is open to his hobby. Easy to be open and honest when the wife is level headed. Other wise you do what you have to do to enjoy a few hours of your life every week.

Originally Posted by Obake

Other wise you do what you have to do to enjoy a few hours of your life every week.

what kind of life is that? I guess...... but I'd never live that horror again.

I'm another lucky one... The miss' pays for most of her stuff and I pay for most of mine and we openly tease each other about how crazy some of the items are...

Helps that our savings and retirement deposits have been automatic deposits for forever. The less I have to do with that, the better.

Also, she's the one driving a 2013 Mini roadster... That helps too.

I got hooked earlier this year and went nuts buying lots of parts and such. For a while I was having stuff shipped to the office and spending out of another account. A few months back, I was feeling guilty because basically, I was lying to my wife. I took her into the garage and pointed out the 13 or so flying machines that I had amassed since February. She wasn't extremely mad, but was disappointed. At that point, I asked her to put me on a budget. I get $25 every 2 weeks automatically depoisted into PayPal plus any money from anything I sell or odd jobs that I do. I'm in IT and occasionaly get house calls that pay out pretty well.

In September, I got some cash for my birthday and had sold a heli. I had about $350 that I was planning to spend to get a Dynam T-28 and something else. I should mention that we have a 7 month old and I've gotten into photography since I have a nice subject. I volunteered to buy a new flash for the camera instead of the plane and she really liked that idea. In the end, to show that I was committed to a good balance with the hobby, I sold a few more planes and ended up upgrading my camera altogether and did it with little extra out of pocket. She told me that she was much happier with me spending on the camera then on planes.

I guess overall, I love my wife more than any hobby and I'm trying to make this hobby work with her blessing. Spend some on planes but show her that I'm willing to compromise on other things. She still hates for me to run off to go fly or build, but she'll get used to it. Just be honest and up front. "A Happy Wife = A Happy Life!".

Originally Posted by super_dork

I got hooked earlier this year and went nuts buying lots of parts and such. For a while I was having stuff shipped to the office and spending out of another account. A few months back, I was feeling guilty because basically, I was lying to my wife. I took her into the garage and pointed out the 13 or so flying machines that I had amassed since February. She wasn't extremely mad, but was disappointed. At that point, I asked her to put me on a budget. I get $25 every 2 weeks automatically depoisted into PayPal plus any money from anything I sell or odd jobs that I do. I'm in IT and occasionaly get house calls that pay out pretty well.

In September, I got some cash for my birthday and had sold a heli. I had about $350 that I was planning to spend to get a Dynam T-28 and something else. I should mention that we have a 7 month old and I've gotten into photography since I have a nice subject. I volunteered to buy a new flash for the camera instead of the plane and she really liked that idea. In the end, to show that I was committed to a good balance with the hobby, I sold a few more planes and ended up upgrading my camera altogether and did it with little extra out of pocket. She told me that she was much happier with me spending on the camera then on planes.

I guess overall, I love my wife more than any hobby and I'm trying to make this hobby work with her blessing. Spend some on planes but show her that I'm willing to compromise on other things. She still hates for me to run off to go fly or build, but she'll get used to it. Just be honest and up front. "A Happy Wife = A Happy Life!".

OH so true! I tell my kids.... if momma is happy.... our home is happy !!

Unlike many that feel they have to hide and lie to their wives, I have a wonderful wife who supports me in my hobbies. I don't go crazy buying stuff like I used to, in fact she'll know I been wanting to buy something for a while and that I am saving up for it. Well when she knows there's a little extra cash to spare she'll actually convinve me to buy it. Its not like she has a motive behind wanting me to get so she can do something.

Her feelings are I work hard and I support the family I deserve to treat myself once in a while as long as it doesn't break the bank or takes from the bills.

Anyways I believe if you have to lie or hide things from your spouse, it just isn't right. I'm always up front with my wife. Selling off unused or unwanted RC stuff gathering dust helps to fund new projects and parts.

Aloha,

Les

Some good reading on this thread. I actually started it as a half joke. Although my wife was unhappy to see a $500 credit card bill we didn't have last month, I have always worked hard, and she respects that. That being said, when she finds out the card is actually up to $900, that may change. This will be paid off in just a couple months, and really isn't a big deal. I just went a little overboard. My only real sin is doing it so close to Christmas. My only saving grace is that some of that bill is actually from a couple things I bought for her for Christmas.
Although this doesn't have go be an expensive hobby, it's a lot more fun if it is. I seem to have a compulsive spending problem, which goes very well with this hobby. Guess I'm just a big kid that has to have the most toys.

Originally Posted by JCMorgan

Some good reading on this thread. I actually started it as a half joke. ...

Yeah, I was kinda wondering where it suddenly turned all serious! Some posts even stepped beyond the 'T.M.I.' point! *shudder*


AFA packages arriving on my doorstep daily.....certainly not -- WAY not a problem here. 'Reality' caught up with 'Bank Account' real quick at dis house!!