Things I don't wan't to hear on Tuesday
Things you don't want to hear during surgery:
1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
2. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness."
3. Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!
4. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
5. Hand me that... uh... that uh... that thingy there.
6. Oh no! Where's my Rolex.
7. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?
8. There go the lights again?
9. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys? and this guy's got two of 'em."
10. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
11. Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing off my concentration.
12. What's this doing here?
13. I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
14. That's cool. Now can you make his leg twitch by pressing that one?!
15. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
16. Sterile schmerile. The floor's clean, right?
17. OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
18. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
19. Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?
20. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
21. What do you mean "You want a divorce?!?"
22. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
23. Oh no! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Having a microdiscectomy on Tuesday, hopefully will get rid of this back pain.
GWFami, go for it, you won't look back (without incredible pain - only jokin'!!!)
I have had a laminectomy, and then a double spinal fusion, and my back has never given me a moment's trouble since (14 years and counting)
Here's what is in my back. Those titanium screws are 6mm diameter by 2 1/2 inches long. After the first year or so, the three vertabrae fused, so the screws are no longer necessary, but nobody ain't gettin' them back from me!
Had mine done the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (actually my second one
). I wish I wouldn't have waited so long. My foot is still numb but the pain in my leg is gone and it's wonderful. The only thing that hurts is the 3 1/2" cut in my back.
Good luck to you.
Oh man, you just had to post that, didn't you. Now they're gonna have to give me extra anesthetic to put me under.
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