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Oct 19, 2012, 11:43 PM
David Drowns
Mig Man's Avatar

Exercise For Seniors


Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems easy, so we're passing it on. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5 lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, then hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10 lb. potato sacks. Then 50 lb. potato sacks and, eventually, try to get to where you can lift a 100 lb. potato sack in each and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks; but be careful ...
Oct 20, 2012, 03:26 PM
Blessed by anvils from heaven
Chophop's Avatar
Not a punch-line joke but the situation is.

In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer’s large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like “cement blocks” hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
Oct 20, 2012, 05:25 PM
Culper Junior
Was that $15,000 total or $15,000 per...?
Oct 20, 2012, 08:15 PM
Night Flying
Ron H's Avatar
Seems like I've heard something about dangerous peaks not far from the silicone valley.
Oct 20, 2012, 08:18 PM
Blessed by anvils from heaven
Chophop's Avatar
Well, at least she didn't stick her tips in his nose and suffocate him. Maybe that will be his end now.
Oct 21, 2012, 12:45 PM
Blessed by anvils from heaven
Chophop's Avatar
Wrestlers should not eat a big pot of beans the night before a match.
Oct 23, 2012, 06:21 AM
Registered User
stormysrider's Avatar
Today I finally realised one of my life long goals... Whilst I am not all that into competitive cycling it would seem that as of today I have won as many Tour De France's as Lance Armstrong!!!!
Oct 23, 2012, 07:28 AM
Registered User
Quote:
Originally Posted by stormysrider View Post
Today I finally realised one of my life long goals... Whilst I am not all that into competitive cycling it would seem that as of today I have won as many Tour De France's as Lance Armstrong!!!!
Never liked him much anyway. I used to cringe at the thought of him touching Sheryl Crow!
Oct 23, 2012, 07:43 PM
Registered User
But all he wanted to do was have some fun,

It kinda seems like he’s not the only one….
Oct 23, 2012, 09:20 PM
Night Flying
Ron H's Avatar
Every day is a winding road.
Oct 24, 2012, 01:23 AM
Taking care of the pond.
MILLERTIME's Avatar
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'.
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.


I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos total 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in?

I told him 'MIDNIGHT'..... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock!'

When I asked him why, he said,

'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh crap' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its
throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
Oct 30, 2012, 11:36 PM
Vertical Arrival Specialist
clinth01's Avatar
A man went to a Halloween party with nothing but a naked girl strapped to his back.

"So what are you supposed to be?" the host asked indignantly.

"I'm a snail."

"How can you be a snail when all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"

The man replied, "That's Michelle."



Boom, tish !!!
Oct 31, 2012, 04:44 AM
Registered User
stormysrider's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by clinth01 View Post
A man went to a Halloween party with nothing but a naked girl strapped to his back.

"So what are you supposed to be?" the host asked indignantly.

"I'm a snail."

"How can you be a snail when all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"

The man replied, "That's Michelle."



Boom, tish !!!
Not 30 seconds later another guy arrived wearing nothing at all but a big bowl of custard strapped around his waist with his manhood in it!!!! What the heck are you dressed as asked the host??? He said Ihave come as an emotion.. I am F$%$%king dis custard!!!

30 seconds later cam a guy completely naked but for a well placed pear.. And what have you come as said the host??? Well replied the man considering my brothers costume i thought you would figure this out. i am an emotion as well I am deep in dis pear!!!!!


Yes Yes i know I will get a warning!!!!
Oct 31, 2012, 07:00 AM
Vertical Arrival Specialist
clinth01's Avatar
[QUOTE=Yes Yes i know I will get a warning!!!![/QUOTE]

Welcome to the club. It's pretty exclusive, you know.
Oct 31, 2012, 08:39 AM
The original Flying Pigs Sqd.
Up&Away's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by clinth01 View Post
Welcome to the club. It's pretty exclusive, you know.
Nah, not as exclusive as you think.


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