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Old Oct 20, 2012, 12:43 AM
Mig Man is offline
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David Drowns
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Exercise For Seniors


Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems easy, so we're passing it on. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5 lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, then hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10 lb. potato sacks. Then 50 lb. potato sacks and, eventually, try to get to where you can lift a 100 lb. potato sack in each and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks; but be careful ...
Old Oct 20, 2012, 04:26 PM
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Not a punch-line joke but the situation is.

In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer’s large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like “cement blocks” hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
Old Oct 20, 2012, 06:25 PM
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Was that $15,000 total or $15,000 per...?
Old Oct 20, 2012, 09:15 PM
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Seems like I've heard something about dangerous peaks not far from the silicone valley.
Old Oct 20, 2012, 09:18 PM
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Well, at least she didn't stick her tips in his nose and suffocate him. Maybe that will be his end now.
Old Oct 21, 2012, 01:45 PM
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Wrestlers should not eat a big pot of beans the night before a match.
Old Oct 23, 2012, 07:21 AM
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Today I finally realised one of my life long goals... Whilst I am not all that into competitive cycling it would seem that as of today I have won as many Tour De France's as Lance Armstrong!!!!
Old Oct 23, 2012, 08:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormysrider View Post
Today I finally realised one of my life long goals... Whilst I am not all that into competitive cycling it would seem that as of today I have won as many Tour De France's as Lance Armstrong!!!!
Never liked him much anyway. I used to cringe at the thought of him touching Sheryl Crow!
Old Oct 23, 2012, 08:43 PM
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But all he wanted to do was have some fun,

It kinda seems like he’s not the only one….
Old Oct 23, 2012, 10:20 PM
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Every day is a winding road.
Old Oct 24, 2012, 02:23 AM
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The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'.
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.


I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos total 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in?

I told him 'MIDNIGHT'..... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock!'

When I asked him why, he said,

'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh crap' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its
throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
Old Oct 31, 2012, 12:36 AM
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A man went to a Halloween party with nothing but a naked girl strapped to his back.

"So what are you supposed to be?" the host asked indignantly.

"I'm a snail."

"How can you be a snail when all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"

The man replied, "That's Michelle."



Boom, tish !!!
Old Oct 31, 2012, 05:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clinth01 View Post
A man went to a Halloween party with nothing but a naked girl strapped to his back.

"So what are you supposed to be?" the host asked indignantly.

"I'm a snail."

"How can you be a snail when all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"

The man replied, "That's Michelle."



Boom, tish !!!
Not 30 seconds later another guy arrived wearing nothing at all but a big bowl of custard strapped around his waist with his manhood in it!!!! What the heck are you dressed as asked the host??? He said Ihave come as an emotion.. I am F$%$%king dis custard!!!

30 seconds later cam a guy completely naked but for a well placed pear.. And what have you come as said the host??? Well replied the man considering my brothers costume i thought you would figure this out. i am an emotion as well I am deep in dis pear!!!!!


Yes Yes i know I will get a warning!!!!
Old Oct 31, 2012, 08:00 AM
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[QUOTE=Yes Yes i know I will get a warning!!!![/QUOTE]

Welcome to the club. It's pretty exclusive, you know.
Old Oct 31, 2012, 09:39 AM
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The original Flying Pigs Sqd.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clinth01 View Post
Welcome to the club. It's pretty exclusive, you know.
Nah, not as exclusive as you think.


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