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Aug 16, 2012, 11:24 AM
Blessed by anvils from heaven
Chophop's Avatar
If you want to drink that beer,
you'll end up sleepin with a ......
Last edited by Chophop; Aug 16, 2012 at 01:38 PM.
Aug 16, 2012, 11:32 AM
Blessed by anvils from heaven
Chophop's Avatar
If you drink up 16 beers
you'll think that guy is Britney Spears.








Editidied the last two for better flow. ha ha
Last edited by Chophop; Aug 16, 2012 at 01:39 PM.
Aug 17, 2012, 02:32 AM
Try the Truth for a change
Bill Henley's Avatar
They say dog is a manís best friend but I donít even have enemies thatíll look me in the eye whilst taking a s on my carpet.
Aug 17, 2012, 02:32 AM
Try the Truth for a change
Bill Henley's Avatar
I bet the YMCA dance is a lot harder to do in Chinese
Last edited by Bill Henley; Aug 20, 2012 at 03:01 AM. Reason: I spel bad
Aug 17, 2012, 04:36 AM
Night Flying
Ron H's Avatar
Heck, it is hard enough spell in english.
Aug 17, 2012, 07:32 AM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Henley
They say dog is a manís best friend but I donít even have enemies thatíll look me in the eye whilst taking a s on my carpet.
Just snorted coffee out my nose on this one.
Aug 18, 2012, 11:55 PM
Not THAT Ira
Real Ira's Avatar
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hey George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Aug 19, 2012, 09:07 AM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Real Ira
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hey George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Ding ding.......we have a winner!
Aug 19, 2012, 03:29 PM
free bird
Mickey D's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Real Ira
"Why can't these guys play at night?"
because the firestation donate there old sliding poles to the strip club, which is where the blind firemen spend their night with free shows!
Aug 20, 2012, 02:14 AM
Danish? Don't U eat that??
DKChris's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mickey D
because the firestation donate there old sliding poles to the strip club, which is where the blind firemen spend their night with free shows!
Ehhhh......wouldn't that just be cruel to the firemen? Or does the club maybe have some sort of "blind special" - meaning they get to "see with their hands"?? Now THAT would probably make all their hardship worth while.......

Or.........do they work the poles themselves...??....
Aug 20, 2012, 02:06 PM
free bird
Mickey D's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by DKChris
Or does the club maybe have some sort of "blind special" - meaning they get to "see with their hands"??
If that's the case then consider my eyes gouged out, as long as I get free lap dances anytime!
Name: a.gif
Views: 45
Size: 55.4 KB
Description: I would probably picture Charlize Theron while I recieve special attention
Hope this ain't what they give me!
Last edited by Mickey D; Aug 20, 2012 at 10:27 PM. Reason: forgot a word
Aug 20, 2012, 07:58 PM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
The scene is an era when cockpits had round dials and pilots needed flight engineers and navigators.A crusty old captain is breaking in a brand new navigator.The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38 and rests it on the glare panel. He asks the navigator, "Know what this is for?""No, sir," replies the newbie."I use it on navigators who get us lost," explains the captain, winking at his first officer.The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls out a .45 and sets it on his chart table."What's THAT for?" queries the surprised captain."Well, sir," replies the navigator, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
Aug 20, 2012, 09:24 PM
free bird
Mickey D's Avatar
^That's excellent!^
Aug 20, 2012, 09:28 PM
I think I'm inverted. Maybe.
acetech09's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by seanpcola
The scene is an era when cockpits had round dials and pilots needed flight engineers and navigators.A crusty old captain is breaking in a brand new navigator.The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38 and rests it on the glare panel. He asks the navigator, "Know what this is for?""No, sir," replies the newbie."I use it on navigators who get us lost," explains the captain, winking at his first officer.The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls out a .45 and sets it on his chart table."What's THAT for?" queries the surprised captain."Well, sir," replies the navigator, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
5/5 for that one.
Aug 20, 2012, 10:34 PM
Blessed by anvils from heaven
Chophop's Avatar
What's worse than shrimp on your piano ?
Crabs on your organ.


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