One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay, what's your name?"

"Its Jack, and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.

"Jack, forget your troubles. Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted. She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive.... I was weak.

"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."

After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."

"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Under the cart!", I replied.

While fishing with his Dad (my son) yesterday afternoon, my grandson caught this trophy Large Mouth Bass all by himself. He was free-lining live bait (shiners) in the weeds when he hung this fish.
Old men have fished all their lives and never caught a fish as nice as this one. He did it at 5 years of age.

Just throwing up some pictures of the Goldberg 10-300 Ultimate Biplane kit I am building. It will be powered by a Saito 1.20S. Still have not settled in on the exact color scheme, but have chosen white, plum, and gold as the primary colors.

This quarter scale Concept Fleet Biplane kit and the four stroke Saito 1.80 powerplant were purchased from a couple of gentlemen here on the classified section. The kit has been a pleasure to build thus far. The pictures will chronicle the build effort....Continue Reading

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Florida .
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?'
His grandfather replied, 'They're as clean as cold water can get ‘em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, 'Are you sure these plates are clean?'
Without looking up the old man said, 'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.
John yelled and said, ‘Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted 'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'

Here are a few things to ponder while you are relaxing, building your next model airplane:

**If we let the loggers go in and cut down all the trees we wouldn’t have a problem with forest fires.

**Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

**Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

**All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

**Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

**If you teach your children nothing else, teach them the Golden Rule and righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.

**May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.

**Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

**I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

**Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

**If you remember the 60's you weren't really there.

**One mystery of life is how a two pound box of candy can make you gain five pounds.

**I used to be disgusted. Now I'm just amused.

1. When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link major metropolitan areas.

2. If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.

3. Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

4. Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.

5. The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body,the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

6. The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah", the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them.

Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist.

Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed.

One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house.

"But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people who have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages between various people in the woods?"

Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had called the union boss and gotten a special compassionate mission exemption form.

"But mother, aren't you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?"

Red Riding Hood's mother pointed out that it was impossible for womyn to oppress each other, since all womyn were equally oppressed until all womyn were free.

"But mother, then shouldn't you have my brother carry the basket, since he's an oppressor, and should learn what it's like to be oppressed?"

And Red Riding Hood's mother explained that...Continue Reading

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family, and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting
older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

Got me a gung-ho, highly motivated, truly dedicated team of young dishwashers right here. Oh yeah, more model building time for Grandpa!

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

The Brisfit build log has been moved to here:

https://www.rcgroups.com/forums/show....php?t=1486140

Construction continues on the Bristol F2B

Photos outlining construction progress on the Bristol F2B from Comet Models plans. Plans have been scaled up from original 15" wingspan to a 30" wingspan model. The plan is to use a Hobby Lobby (Eskay) 400XT motor. Initial layout will include 3 degrees downthrust and 3 degrees right thrust. Will use an 8 x 6 prop

Well, they say the longest journeys begin with the first steps, so here are the first steps I've taken to scratch build a Bristol F2B using an old Comet Models plan. A good friend from RCG (and my hometown) told me about a great little software program called "Tile Print". It allows the user to scale up PDF files and many other image files using tools imbedded in the program, then print them out in a tiled fashion and assemble into a full size plan. In this case, the original Comet Models F2B plan would have yielded a model with an approximate 15" wingspan. Scaling it up to a 30" wingspan was a snap using the Tile Print software. Besides printing out the plan and getting materials together, all I have done so far is assemble one set of longerons for a fuselage side. It's going to be a long journey, but these are the first images I will post as I build the Bristol F2B WWI Fighter-Bomber. This thread will be updated as progress continues.

Grandbabies, that's what! This little one is our youngest grand daughter. She was at a birthday party, and man, those birthday parties can be hard work.

After 25 years in the RC Aircraft hobby, took a LOA in the 90's. Upon my return to the hobby after my retirement last year, this LX Mig-29 airframe kit was purchased from Banana Hobby as an impulse buy. After I had completed most of the construction, including Wemotec Mini Fans, Cyclone Power 2800kv Motors, I grew weary with the complexity of the model and sold it. The model came in the standard gray camo colors and I airbrushed this one with acrylic paints. The new owner has reported that the maiden and subsequent flights were very successful and he loves it. Maybe at a later date, I will build another EDF and keep it this time. This was my first electric powered aircraft in this hobby.

Precision Aerobatics Addiction. If there ever was an RC airplane model that could make the pilot look more skilled than he really is, this is it. Dollar for dollar, this is the best 3D flying model out there in my opinion. Construction quailty is excellent, materials used much better than average, and an engineering marvel. Precision Aerobatics rocks!