Calcifer's blog View Details
Posted by Calcifer | Jul 12, 2018 @ 07:18 AM | 8,264 Views
Because I need to catch a bus. Any suggestions?

Last time I had to catch a bus because I needed to get to the airplane
Posted by Calcifer | Apr 25, 2018 @ 08:26 AM | 8,690 Views

CSI Spoof: Black Lights Expose Semen (0 min 50 sec)

Posted by Calcifer | Feb 18, 2018 @ 04:01 AM | 9,437 Views
The painting within a painting of the painter painting a painting of the painting painting the painter.....

All whilst being painted...

You know what I mean
Posted by Calcifer | Oct 16, 2017 @ 07:24 PM | 9,272 Views
was having issues with women...

I got to the lawyers door....


and ran...

I wonder why?
Posted by Calcifer | Oct 11, 2017 @ 07:25 AM | 8,996 Views

I wouldn't be turning my back on shoulders like that (nor broads)
Posted by Calcifer | Oct 02, 2017 @ 01:09 AM | 9,005 Views
An annoying song stuck in their head?

Proceed with caution.....

The Lion Sleeps (full version) (2 min 38 sec)

And... dont say I didn't warn you
Posted by Calcifer | Aug 24, 2017 @ 10:09 PM | 9,117 Views
He paid the $4.95

Would be good if heli sellers offered the same service
Posted by Calcifer | Aug 01, 2017 @ 10:00 AM | 9,731 Views
We humans... especially us smart ones.... can read stuff that is not written with the correct letters? Evidently, if the first letter and last letter in a word are correct.... our brains can decipher what the word is But, even this one with the wrong letter at the end of the word, or a number at the start... we can still read it easily, especially after the first read thru...

Pretty cool... If you can read this..... you are pretty smart....
Posted by Calcifer | Jul 29, 2017 @ 10:25 AM | 10,167 Views
Maybe I shouldn't have had breakfast first?

Raining Puke - Hand Glider's Rider (1 min 17 sec)

Posted by Calcifer | Mar 16, 2017 @ 10:13 AM | 12,997 Views
Looks strangely familiar?

1933 Voli sperimentali aeroplano Stipa Caproni (2 min 7 sec)

Posted by Calcifer | Mar 14, 2017 @ 08:20 AM | 12,934 Views
Posted by Calcifer | Mar 08, 2017 @ 06:44 AM | 12,494 Views
In a Lambo.... record breaker

Sit real close to your monitor.... feels like you are there

Lamborghini Huracán Performante record at the Nürburgring (7 min 14 sec)

Posted by Calcifer | Feb 27, 2017 @ 06:43 PM | 12,629 Views
The Redshift ripping through trails in the Mammoth Mountains (0 min 48 sec)

Only trouble is......What will the old people be able to whine about now?

Usually they moan about the noise?

I suppose they can still complain about the dust and dirt bikes always running over baby harp seals and dolphins and stuff?
Posted by Calcifer | Feb 02, 2017 @ 06:54 AM | 12,948 Views
What not to do with expanding foam...

Aussie style

The do's and don'ts of expanding foam (2 min 56 sec)

Posted by Calcifer | Jan 22, 2017 @ 06:55 AM | 12,945 Views
Especially if it is a round cargo type chute on a windy day

Russian Parachute Landing FAIL (2 min 11 sec)

Posted by Calcifer | Jan 20, 2017 @ 05:37 AM | 13,119 Views
Yup.... this is a beauty

This is why Mechanic love to deal with Women... (4 min 49 sec)

Posted by Calcifer | Jan 19, 2017 @ 06:10 AM | 13,426 Views
Now, only people who are non racist and who can forgive a lady from another country who finds it difficult to pronounce all words in English properly.... If you think you can ignore the accidental mispronunciation and not laugh your head off.... well, good on you.... coz I cant

Korean Clock Lady (2 min 24 sec)

Posted by Calcifer | Jan 16, 2017 @ 07:25 PM | 12,730 Views
This video, one of the grunts videoing it drops the F bomb a couple of times... as one would watching seven or eight hummers fall out of cargo planes onto the ground So please only download the video if no kids around and have the sound down.... I have only posted the link, I have not embedded in the thread.... so if you choose to open the link, which I thoroughly recommend.... it is a hoot ..... but that is up to you

Remember... turn sound down to begin with if anyone easily offended within earshot..... enjoy

Woops!! it embeds automatically.... I cant just place the link.... The naughty words aren't terrible... but if grandma is sitting nearby she might swallow her dentures ,,,, so, sound down

Edit: here is the youtube link.... you can either search youtube for epic fail raining Humvees or copy this link and remove the gap between the question mark and V... worth a look.... it is hysterical..... as the guys filming it found out v=TvJdw_s8qh4
Posted by Calcifer | Jan 13, 2017 @ 06:44 AM | 13,356 Views
These are just bad enough to be good !
Feel free to add your own....

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest doodle she had ever laid her hands on.

I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker...... Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine check-up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my backside!
Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect?

You're in a wheel chair."

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.

She said she would like to come back as a cow.

I said, "You're obviously not listening.... I said a DIFFERENT creature."

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So, I have been to the pawn shop to get all of her clothes back.

A mate of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?"
He said "Her brother's got a moustache."

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!"
Next thing I know 4,000 ing Mooozlims have added me as a friend!

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan.
I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway