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Old Jan 21, 2009, 08:49 AM
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Fooman, seems like your memory is better 'n mine, although I heard it first from a CPO, which could explain the "alteration". A lot of sea miles have passed since I heard these anecdotes. Lemme get this right, your dad was a 2 star admiral or a master-chief PO?

Regarding my sea stories, I'm afraid they are mostly well into the X realm to be cleaned up. Between a "Caine Mutiny"-like CO, a dispersing officer that previously served as an Army Ranger in 'Nam for 12 years, and port calls in Subic... well you get the picture.
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 09:14 AM
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Kahuna,
My dad was an admiral. To my shame at the time my brother was a heliocopeter pilot (some people would say rather a brother doing something honorable like playing piano in a whorehouse rather than that!) he put in his 20 and got out.
As for Subic, Sodom and Gomorrah did exist in the 80's it was there. The VD rate was something 60%, when we pulled out coming home (we used to get the AP newswire) they had the stunning headline that they had discovered that AIDS was present in the pilipines! OMG!!!
Foo
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 09:20 AM
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Kahuna,
Tell me you were not on DDG-5 in 81 speaking of Queeglike (yes that is an actual word) Captains.
Foo
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fooman2008
Kahuna,

As for Subic, Sodom and Gomorrah did exist in the 80's it was there. The VD rate was something 60%, when we pulled out coming home (we used to get the AP newswire) they had the stunning headline that they had discovered that AIDS was present in the pilipines! OMG!!!
Foo

It was that way in the 70's too...but you knew to stay away from anyone without a health card....I thank God AIDS wasn't heard of yet! Remember the Jeepmees and the wood carts with dog on a stick (not hot dogs either)....and $#it river and watching those guys dive in after the coins?
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 01:04 PM
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by the time I got there in 84-85 they had put up a tall fence on both sides of the bridge over sh_t riverto keep the sailors from that trick, still smelled the same though. I got smart and stayed on base and drank quarter buds at the Em club and the acey duecy club (they never checked ID's) with the round eye nurses from the base hospital.
Had the mis-fortune of going out my last night on an escorted cinderella liberty with the LPO of my division (with me as the escort) and left the next day (my birthday no less) with a terrible hangover and a bad case of the san migoo two step.
Foo
Translation for the nonmilitary; I had to escort one of the alcoholics on the last night in the Philippines and have him back to the ship at midnight. San Miguel (the local beer in the Philippine Islands (PI)known as san magoo) uses more than a little formaldehyde (as one its main ingredients) and local water. Smart sailors avoid drinking the base water until they absolutely have to since the reaction of U.S. base water and san magoo can be pretty unpleasant. You don't want to be more than a few steps from the head (john), the san magoo two step.
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 01:46 PM
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Ha....and don't eat at Shaky s Pizza Parlor either! Whew... I know that was NOT beef pepperoni I just ate! I can relate!
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Old Jan 22, 2009, 02:13 AM
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Ah yes Monkey Meat carts, never ask what the meat is just ask for the pepper sauce, trust us you don't want to know. I asked an old PI hand what is was and he replied, "Not sure could be bat (a local delicacy), rat, cat, monkey, slow child, dog, or anything else that is slow enough for them to catch."
Another local delicacy is Baluut (sp?) half hatched dick eggs. It take 23 days for a duck egg to hatch, they take them after about 15-18 days and pickle them, they have this wonderful grayish green color not found in any other food product. Kind of like a cross between overcooked powdered eggs (yes the Navy still has them) and Haze Grey paint. No normal American that I know of has ever willingly eaten Baluut while sober (this excludes bets), please also note that like kimchee and nuoc mam (from Viet Nam) the best are pickled underground (often for years) in clay pots,and have an odor that has to be smelled to be believed! The way to tell really good baluut is if the little bones are flexible enough to eat (at least that's what a Filipino Chief told me). The chief had his wife send him some and the goats made him eat it on the fantail, after about three bites it was just him and the after lookout (who couldn't escape) after a while someone inquired what was that horrid smell a cross between burnt tires and pickles. Turns out the eggs didn't agree with the chief and he got bad gas, the MCPOC (Master Chief Petty Officer of the Command) threw him out of the goat locker (CPO's Mess) and made him sleep in helo hangar (with the man door open) in a hammock.
Foo
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Old Jan 22, 2009, 09:13 AM
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You ever take one of the Victory buses up into the mountains….that’s an adventure I tell ya. I went up to Baggio City (found this http://realtravel.com/philippines-journals-j703824.html ) one weekend and on the road I saw water buffalo pulling plows through a field and these were dirt roads for the most part. I saw grass huts with TV antennas sticking out of them and cows and chickens in the living rooms with the inhabitants. When we stopped people would get on and off the bus with chickens, mango fruit and the nasty smelling eggs and try to sell ya some. Kids would try to sell everything imaginable through the windows. They would try to shine your tennis shoes too.

Any way…this tight winding dirt road up into the mountains was unbelievable and the driver flew around the corners so fast the bus was fish tailing and you had to hold onto the seat back in front of you to stay in your seat. I will never forget that ride….or the thrill that my ahhhh…tour guide got from the (what I would call a kiddy) rollercoaster ride we rode together once we got to the City in the mountains.

Good memories!
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Old Jan 22, 2009, 10:05 AM
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Ah yes,waterboos, Brings back fond memories of doing 90 knots across the rice paddies at 10' Seeing old Papasan plowing his paddy with his trusty waterboo. Passing Papasan by about 20' and watching him hanging on for dear life as the ''Boo'' heads at full speed for the hills. It was the simple things that made life livable along with 10 cent beer.

Then there is always driving a 36'MLB wide open at 9 knts into a 13knt ebbing tide between the jetties with the seas running at 6' on top of a ground swell quartering you astern from the northeast,now that do make an interesting day as the boat wants to switch ends. In the mean time you have a 2nd class moron calling on the radio that he made it just fine and you won't have any trouble. He running the 40' UTB at 20 plus knots through the same area.
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Old Jan 22, 2009, 01:59 PM
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Well the best I have to add on this would be the new Airman the Sergeants in my shop sent to sick hall to get his annual PAP smear, and despite all of the odd looks he demanded it be done so he wouldn’t get in trouble …. In his defense it was signed by Col Sanders.

Same guy rolled a bomb off a trailer in front of the control tower during a rather large exercise, it was front of God and everyone. I hope after he was “let out” his luck turned or that he’s simply pushing a broom somewhere far far away from me.
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Old Jan 22, 2009, 02:41 PM
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triple feature

here are a couple,
The Captain was late for for a staff meeting in Rota and the pier at the O-club was full. Being a good seaman and fenders hanging overboard underway being un-seamanlike I had left the fenders tied to the ship. The CPO ordered me to put the boat alongside a concrete quay wall. When I told the chief that I was the coxswain and that I was in charge of all souls aboard and wouldn't do it, he informed me that I was a (designated) E-4 and that he was an (designated) E-8 and that he was ordering me to put alongside the quay. I looked at him called in a fat SOB in no uncertain terms and gave him the orange helmet signifying that I was the coxswain. When the CPO put it into the quay I heard it crack. Me and the engineman had always fought to keep the extra pumps (installed by a previous captain's orders) and we were glad we did. It took 2, 500 gph electric and the motor driven (not sure of the size, 250 I think) pumps to keep her afloat back the ship. The chief had to use full throttle to get less than half speed, I knew she was hurt pretty bad. Since I had been relieved as coxswain of the boat I retired to my rack for some Z's and after about 15 minutes I was informed the P-boat was hanging from the mooring lines with both battery pumps running full out. I called the quarterdeck and told them to muster a repair party next to the captains gig with portable pumps, rousted the First Class LPO (leading petty officer) and told him what was going on, he told me top grab about half dozen pendulating richards and get the boat out of the water ASAP. With the batteries dying from the current draw of the pumps, and a pair of 1000 gph pumps from the repair locker we dragged the boat to the davits, and hand-cranked it sloooowly (to let the water out and not cause more damage) out of the water into the davits (1000 turns on the crank more than 100 pounds), long evening. When I got to it after first light (had to drop the motor whale boat to go get the captain) I got a good look at the crack. It ran from just under the waterline to the transom, under the transmission and motor it was wide enough that I could stick my fist in it. In addition all 26 foot personnel boats back and walk starboard, and the damned chief had crushed the corner of the transom hard enough that I could stick my knife through it. Of course after disrespecting a CPO I ended up at Captain's Mast, The skipper was an ex-enlisted guy and asked me what happened, when I told him he told me that he had just gotten me meritoriously advanced and I wasn't even getting paid for it yet and that he couldn't have one his future enlisted leaders calling his Chief Petty Officers a fat son of a bitch, even if he was one (his words not mine). He informed that I just lost the extra stripe and that I was restricted to the ship for the next 21 days and that I assigned 2 hours extra duty working on the captain's gig (which I was going to have to be doing anyway) for the next 45 days. After he adjourned the mast he informed me, off the record, that he and the chief were going to have words and that the chief needed another set of evaluations before he put on his new senior chief anchors, and that he was pretty sure when he got the evals he wouldn't get them (he didn't because he didn't communicate well with those tasked under him). I did the best I could underway on a NATO cruise and finally told the skipper, in my opinion, the boat was unserviceable without a significant period of time in a fully equipped boatyard (not hanging in the davits underway 15 feet above the deck). He traded the boat with one of the amphibs going back to Norfolk and we finished the rest of the cruise (two months) with a boat with wrong name on the transom and numbers on the bow. It took two of us a solid four months of 45 hour weeks to get that damned boat right after we got it into the boatyard.
Did make it kind of nice for wrong numbers once though (got a ticket in Kiel for too much wake and they charged the wrong ship!).
2) We were loading ammo from a barge in Yorktown and had about 2/3 of it off when someone kicked over a round (5-inch 54's are palletized 9 to a pallet) and the rest of the pallet went over, needless to say it looked like a bunch of lemmings getting out of there. As I was running over people to the foc'sle I heard one of the gunners (who cannot be bothered to soil their hands actually moving rounds aboard, just kidding they were supervising like they should have) start laughing as he listened to his walkie...the rounds were not war load BL&P (blind loaded and plugged) exercise rounds if they had kicked over one two pallets before that might have been pretty ugly.....
3) there was a bar that had a young lady moving around the place (it was surrounded by a moat filled with live alligators) for about 20p (it was 22 Phillipine pesos to the dollar then) you could by a baby duck and feed it to gators. Great entertainment that made the sailors probably look all the better to the natives!
Foo
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 12:22 AM
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Queeg was a real captain

Now putting this in the category of sea story firmly and admitting that more than half of what transpired happened beofre I came aboard I relate this story to all.
My first ship left Norfolk VA. and the Captain lost his glasses over the side while the ship was barely moving. Like anyone with any brains he had a spare pair which he put on a cord around his neck and slammed them in the bridge wing door tow day later. Now the Captain was not well known for his stability anyway and his lack of vision (literally was night blind) did not help this.
Four weeks into the cruise they shipped me out to the boat and I joined as a participant in this fiasco. While standing my first after lookout watch not under instruction I was rotating the watch (one hour outside on lookout one hour one the bridge inside and warm and dry) when I came across the ASROC deck (midships on a DDG-2 class). I heard the sound of a loud slap and the shuffle of running feet. Now the only place that you could smoke topside after dark was the ASROC deck (on the O-1 level one level above the main deck that made it harder to loose someone over the side in the dark). I heard someone cursing and realized that it was the CO!
I moved past the sound up the ladder and entered the bridge and in a hurried whisper that I thought that someone had just slapped the skipper in the mush (face)! The boatswains mate of the watch and old salt named Killbride told me not to worry about and just stand messenger of the watch. About fifteen seconds later the CO scrambling through the hatch (having had to grope for the lever since he couldn't see it in the dark), he runs to the power panel turns on the white lights on the bridge (blinding everyone for a second or two) and pushed the BMOW (Killbride) out of the way grabs the phone screams at the duty engineer to turn on all the lights in the ship. With hair waving from his spastic motions he screams at Killbirde to sound general quarters and get everyone out of their racks. Killbride did as ordered and while we were waiting to be relieved to go to our GQ stations we all observed the shape of a large hand print on the Captain's face!!!!!!!!!
After we got to GQ the Captain proceeded to do his best Jimmy Cagney in 'Mr. Roberts' impression and ranted for about 15 minutes before our corpsman and the the XO talked him down. The basic gist of the rant was that he has been viciously assaulted and that whomever did it had no balls and that he would meet that individual on the ASROC at midnight if that person had the balls!
He then turned to the Chief Master At Arms (basically the ships chief of police) and told him that he was not to let the Captain out of his sight till further notice. The MAC actually slept for two nights on a chair leaned up against the captain's door, thne gave it up and slept in his own rack.
It took about a week for things to cool back down a little and I had just gotten off watch and was enjoying a little night air and a smoke before I hit the rack on the ASROC deck. The CO was coming aft and like most people slid down the handrails going down the ladder to the ASROC deck. Now most of the ASROC tyoes will tell that the more oil an ASROC launcher leaks the better it works, our worked great I'll just put it that way.... Anyway the CO puts one heel in a puddle of oil slides fifteen feet across the deck and slams into the side of the ASROC launcher hard enough to break his nose.
The Captain, blood streaming down his face looked up at the launche with his almost nonexistant vision, and informed the launcher that it was an SOB and that for as long as he was Captain of this ship his butt was his (the Captain's, he did this much more profanely, but I cannot use that language here) and furthermore that the launcher was on restriction and required an escort wherever it went since it could not be trusted.
Now the ASROC launcher is a large square missile mount tow stories tall and weighing 18 tons. It is held down to the deck with 36 2inch bolts, nnedless to say it really wasn't going anywhere.
Whenever there are weapons in the ASROC which is potentially special weapons capable (nukes) there has to be someone in the ASROC cab at all times. The ASROC monks had a hammock in there and actually it was pretty comfortable. The head ASROC was a GMT1 (Gunners Mate Technical) named King who was 34 months into his 24 month re-enlistment (there were no GMT1's available that were qualified on our launcher so he got involuntarily extended for the 'need of the service'), so he wasn't a huge fan of the skipper. When I informed King (who was normally the guy who slept on the hammock) he told me not to tell anyone he would take care of it. I figured he would tell the XO and finally get rid of the crazy SOB.
A week went by and nothing happened, The CO was so blind that the XO would have to read him the 12 o'clock reports of all the ship's systems,usually he would take 12 o'clocks on the bridge. It took a week to realize that while he had a temperature report from the ASROC guys he did not have a T-check report (a t-check is to test that the mounts will move and train like they are supposed to). He shouted across the bridge to have King get himself up there on the double. King took about 10 minutes for his stroll from the ASROC magazine (about 25 yards) and arrived with his hat on the back of his head like Gilligan, waved his hand at the skipper and assumed the position of parade rest, the XO started to say something but realized that the Captain hadn't even seen it.
When interrogated by the XO about t-checks King, with the best poker face I have ever seen, looked at the skipper and informed him that he had put the ASROC launcher on restriction and that in order to move the mount he would need an escort. When he called the CMA (Chief Master at Arms) he couldn't get the chief to stpp launghing long enough to come up there to do the job. Thus no T-checks.
The skipper just sat there fish-faced and the rest of failed miserably at trying to laugh out loud. The XO barked at King and dismissed him and told him that he would take care of it. The CO was just sitting there, stunned, almost like he had been slapped again.
The XO disappeared to radio shack and when we pulled into Amsterdam a week later, there was a new Captain on the the pier. The old Captain still had something like 10 months left on his tour so we knew something was up.
Like I said Queeg lives!
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Old Jan 27, 2009, 12:41 AM
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Torpedo Los!

One of our sister Sprucan (Spruance class tin cans) was nested inboard of us (the U.S.S. Hewitt). We had spent all day learning about handling a torpedo fuel fire. This stuff may possibly be the most evil stuff in the world, it makes its own oxygen (burns underwater), if you hit it with fire fighting foam it explodes, any type of oil (like from a fire fighting pump) and it explodes, Co2 won't smother it (see underwater), Halon makes it explode, basically the devils brew once it catches fire.
After about five hours of lectures we listened to Hewitt, "All personnel stand stand clear of starboard side while ship is launching air slugs." Translated stay away from the side of the ship while we practice shooting the airbottle that would normally launch the torpedo. The TM verified that tube one was empty, attached the airbottle to the breach of the tube, cranked the tubes outboard, switched the mount to remote (so sonar control could 'fire' the tube) and switched the selector to tube 3. Sonar simulated an attack run and fired and the partially charged airbottle (stored on tube 3) enabled it to shoot the fish about ten feet onto the middle of the pier!
Screws, now turning almost invisibly, it broke into three pieces; motor and props, a nicely leaking fuel tank, and a live 180 pound warhead!
We had all just gotten off and the LPO (Leading Petty Officer) offered to buy pizza from the truck at the end of the pier and we were all just crossing Hewitt when this happened.
Hewitt's people stood there and we all just looked at each other for a second then tackled the duty fire party as they tried to respond to the now flaming torpedo on the pier. The LPO yelled at the Chief on the quarterdeck to call the EOD guys and get them down here now! and we kind of huddled together trying to figure out what to do till they got here.
A minute later the chief informed us that the EOD guys were in Miramar for a live 500 pound bomb that fell off a bomb rack in the middle of the runway and that it would be better than two hours before they got there.
All we could do was try to keep the thing from going off. Our Captain (a man not noted for his clear thought process sometimes) ordered our main engines lit off to move us away from the pier, fortunately that order was willfully disobeyed the the Chief Engineer.
By now the hot fire had melted a hole in the asphalt of the pier and dropped the warhead, and the still slowly running motor section into the bottom of San Diego harbor. If we had moved the torpedo uses acoustic guidance and the howl of out turbines would probably have set it off right under Hewitt's bow.
We had our 14 foot punt (john boat for painting waterlines) in the water, and had two guys paddle it to the next pier with 6 messenger lines attached to it.
The ship on the other Pier (for some reason I think it was a CFA Buchanan maybe?) took the messengers and pulled our mooring lines across and pulled us to the next pier. As we got under way moving sonar reported that the motor section come off the bottom and went screaming into to southern end of the Bay (I'm not sure they ever located it).
Out of the four tin cans, one tender, and an LHA, on the pier we were the only ones that managed to move before EOD finally showed up. They very carefully lifted the warhead from the bottom after the fuel/asphalt fire petered out. Every ship on that pier had just finished loading up for a cruise and were fully armed (Tarawa even had her Marines aboard), if that thing had gone off it would probably be a good remake of 'Pearl Harbor' the movie.
Foo
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Old Jan 27, 2009, 02:11 AM
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All I can say Is Im glad I was in the RAN and not the USN, got a story but will get back to you.
Nick
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Old Jan 27, 2009, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fooman2008
One of our sister Sprucan (Spruance class tin cans) was nested inboard of us (the U.S.S. Hewitt). We had spent all day learning about handling a torpedo fuel fire. This stuff may possibly be the most evil stuff in the world, it makes its own oxygen (burns underwater), if you hit it with fire fighting foam it explodes, any type of oil (like from a fire fighting pump) and it explodes, Co2 won't smother it (see underwater), Halon makes it explode, basically the devils brew once it catches fire.
After about five hours of lectures we listened to Hewitt, "All personnel stand stand clear of starboard side while ship is launching air slugs." Translated stay away from the side of the ship while we practice shooting the airbottle that would normally launch the torpedo. The TM verified that tube one was empty, attached the airbottle to the breach of the tube, cranked the tubes outboard, switched the mount to remote (so sonar control could 'fire' the tube) and switched the selector to tube 3. Sonar simulated an attack run and fired and the partially charged airbottle (stored on tube 3) enabled it to shoot the fish about ten feet onto the middle of the pier!
Screws, now turning almost invisibly, it broke into three pieces; motor and props, a nicely leaking fuel tank, and a live 180 pound warhead!
We had all just gotten off and the LPO (Leading Petty Officer) offered to buy pizza from the truck at the end of the pier and we were all just crossing Hewitt when this happened.
Hewitt's people stood there and we all just looked at each other for a second then tackled the duty fire party as they tried to respond to the now flaming torpedo on the pier. The LPO yelled at the Chief on the quarterdeck to call the EOD guys and get them down here now! and we kind of huddled together trying to figure out what to do till they got here.
A minute later the chief informed us that the EOD guys were in Miramar for a live 500 pound bomb that fell off a bomb rack in the middle of the runway and that it would be better than two hours before they got there.
All we could do was try to keep the thing from going off. Our Captain (a man not noted for his clear thought process sometimes) ordered our main engines lit off to move us away from the pier, fortunately that order was willfully disobeyed the the Chief Engineer.
By now the hot fire had melted a hole in the asphalt of the pier and dropped the warhead, and the still slowly running motor section into the bottom of San Diego harbor. If we had moved the torpedo uses acoustic guidance and the howl of out turbines would probably have set it off right under Hewitt's bow.
We had our 14 foot punt (john boat for painting waterlines) in the water, and had two guys paddle it to the next pier with 6 messenger lines attached to it.
The ship on the other Pier (for some reason I think it was a CFA Buchanan maybe?) took the messengers and pulled our mooring lines across and pulled us to the next pier. As we got under way moving sonar reported that the motor section come off the bottom and went screaming into to southern end of the Bay (I'm not sure they ever located it).
Out of the four tin cans, one tender, and an LHA, on the pier we were the only ones that managed to move before EOD finally showed up. They very carefully lifted the warhead from the bottom after the fuel/asphalt fire petered out. Every ship on that pier had just finished loading up for a cruise and were fully armed (Tarawa even had her Marines aboard), if that thing had gone off it would probably be a good remake of 'Pearl Harbor' the movie.
Foo

Is that the sort of torpedo that is designed to explode under its target, using a gas bubble to do the damage? The little kid in me says "COOOOOOOL!!!" and the adult in me says "oh sh*t".
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