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Old Jan 20, 2009, 12:09 AM
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United States, ID, Rexburg
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Kahuna,
Ditto here, My last ship, the Ingersoll (almost universally known as the Inger_ _ ck), was 54 months into our 48 month overhaul cycle. Amongst the scheduled refit items was 'armor' (1 1/2 inches more aluminum topside), and r2d2 with a hard-on (CIWS) Right after we got back they tried out a RAM launcher on the fan tail of one of our squadron mates. They had us out on picket duty for most of the cruise (CIWS and RAM would have been nice).

Back to better stories; Tales of Liberty (Tommy Liberty)
Mr first ship (an East Coast DDG-2 class) was blessed with the arrival of a young man appropriately named Thomas Liberty Jr.. He was a gangly kid from Kansas who had never seen the ocean before arriving in Norfolk (He went to boot in Great Mistakes (lakes)). We got under way after our overhaul and proceeded to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba for refresher training (they now do it in your own home port, much the worse in my opinion, since in a different port you have to concentrate on what you are doing). Anyway Gitmo had a little rat problem, they were size of cocker spaniels and the sheet metal rat guards on the mooring lines didn't even seem to phase them. Thus, we were required to have a rat watch, one man on the ship with a shotgun and a man on the pier with a .45. Since I was the senior watchstander I got my choice of which of the two I got and took the deck (hot coffee and company on the quarter deck) Liberty (generally known to all hands as Libo) had the darkened pier. About 0200 (2 AM) I heard a loud scream the sound of gunfire and the few lights on the pier went out. I had been on the far side of the ship, I racked the shotgun (putting a round in the chamber) and ran for the brow (to the pier) and ran down the pier, someone on the quarterdeck hit the topside lights and there I saw Libo standing on one the dock bollards (single horned mooring device for tying up the ship) with his .45 with slide locked open shaking. I asked him what was going on and he replied, "It was the biggest f---ing rat I've ever seen in my life, I was afraid for my life man I had to kill it! I had too!"
I asked if he had hit it, he told me he had drilled it at least once (he had five rounds in the clip, the Navy doesn't load 7 to save the magazine springs). In the light from the ship I saw a gaping hole in pier transformer for the other side of the pier sparking and making strange noises. I retrieved a flashlight from the quarterdeck and proceeded to see if I could find Libo's trophy rat. In the back of my mind I knew from qualifications a few days earlier that the slightly visually impaired Libo was probably more likely to hit a rat throwing the weapon than shooting it. Upon closer examination of the transformer I noted a neat 5 shot grouping right in the door of the transformer but no rat! I salved Tommy's conscience telling him he had probably blown the rodent off the pier into the water.
Five minutes later (while our electricians were trying to restore the transformer and get us some power) two truckloads of Marines rolled in at an extreme rate of speed. It turns out that they had been running security drills when the power went out on two piers and about half the base, thus triggering a real security situation including rousting out the resident SEAL team and several small boats (supposedly armed with grenades to repel swimmers). Never did have the heart to tell him he blew hell out of a 3'X8'x4' deep transformer box, probably saw his own shadow in the dim lights on the pier......
Foo
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 12:21 AM
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gunner,
Since I never actually saw a sea chicken fly right I thought the E's on the launchers were for the ability to paint the mount and keep the decks of the sea sparrow magazines waxed?
One of the East Coast Sprucans actually took the director for their sparrow and using the outline, painted it to look like the profile of mickey mouse (Florida tin can of course).
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 07:45 AM
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This thread reminds me of an old saying we used to have:
Quote:
Ya know what's the difference between a sea story and a fairy tale? A fairy tail starts with, "Once upon a time... " and a sea story starts with, "This is a no sh*tter, guys... ".
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 08:39 AM
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Kahuna,
See post #1 there are some good ones in there including that one.
P.S. you can substitute hunting stories, fishing, cars, R/C (especially R/C drydock and hangar flying), robot, tech etc.
Foo
P.S.S; An optimist looks at a glass half full, a pessimist looks at the same glass and sees half empty, an engineer looks at the glass and says...... "it's over-designed and twice as big as it needs to be!"
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 08:50 AM
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Wow...the SPRUCAN sailors are coming out of the woodwork this week!

I had one visit the pond Saturday with his 1:144 scale Spru class RC build....it was mostly done except the masts and power plant. Very nice glass hull from China (discontinued) but he said it had no instructions with it. Had me drooling for sure. He may be joining us in the near future. He also brought along and sailed a Soling 1 meter...and says he's going to get a Nirvana to race us with.

Crash
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 10:09 AM
Naval gazing
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Just found this on the PTboats.org forums:

I had read PT 105 - a copy was in with my grandfather's things and it is probably my favorite PT read. However, I don't remember this part of the book, which I found while going through PT links Gary Szot sent me (thanks again Gary!):

http://www.americanheritage.com/arti...998_4_60.shtml

"I am convinced that her enthusiasm to depart saved me on one dreadful morning when a dawn raid on an enemy harbor turned catastrophic and she was fleeing for her life, and mine, under heavy shore-gun fire, so close that one shell kissed my helmet and another left a burn welt across my starboard turret gunner Willie Monk’s bare chest. I looked astern for a moment just as Miles, my chief motor mac, popped halfway out the engine-room hatch. Frankly, I thought he had decided to go over the side. Instead he waved at me and pointed his index finger down, meaning “look at the tachometers,” then pounded his chest like Tarzan and dropped back into his engine room. I looked at my tachs; they were wiggling between 2,900 and 3,000 rpm. Rated maximum was 2,400, which equaled 42 knots. She was doing 50 knots! For a moment I ignored the shell bursts and the answering chatter of our machine guns. I saw and heard only my 105 racing flat out, her engines screaming like demented tomcats, and she was beautiful."

Something about that image, of the MoMM popping out and pounding his chest in the middle of a getaway is absolutely hilarious to me! If it happened in a movie we'd roll our eyes and say "no way that'd happen!"
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 10:10 AM
Naval gazing
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gobigkahuna
This thread reminds me of an old saying we used to have:
Quote:
Ya know what's the difference between a sea story and a fairy tale? A fairy tail starts with, "Once upon a time... " and a sea story starts with, "This is a no sh*tter, guys... ". e:

Heh.
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 09:38 PM
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I for one find it a little hard to believe you could get a pt to go that fast I thought the designed specs were for 32 (on a clean bottom with light loads, i.e. no torps). I know for a fact that the Japanese Fubuki class could crank up to well over 36 with a war load. That is why the PT's learned to sneak up on the bad guys and engage from less that 1500 yards. I do know that most snipes (engine room types) keep an extra knot or two in their pockets just in case something bad starts to happen.
But be that as it may this is a sea story thread after all....
Foo
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 09:43 PM
Naval gazing
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fooman2008
I for one find it a little hard to believe you could get a pt to go that fast I thought the designed specs were for 32 (on a clean bottom with light loads, i.e. no torps). I know for a fact that the Japanese Fubuki class could crank up to well over 36 with a war load. That is why the PT's learned to sneak up on the bad guys and engage from less that 1500 yards.
But be that as it may this is a sea story thread after all....
Foo
interesting. from everything I've read, the Elcos could do 40. Dunno about with war load or not. In the Med, they couldnt often get up to that speed because of the heat effecting the engines, at least according to one book I read.

But, as you say, this is a sea story thread. Who needs facts?
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 10:25 PM
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Definition of types of creatures found aboard ship

Hey all I thought I would post some things since we undoubtedly devolve into using a term that confuses those not Navy.
Snipe: strange creature who dwells in engineering spaces, uses various forms of magics to conjure fresh water (in minuscule amounts) from sea water. Seemingly allergic to daylight and fresh air. Has tendency to 'drop the electrical load' to those compartments that annoy them.
Gun Bunny: another strange creature although they can be occasionally found topside. Plays with big things that make noise and belch fire, sometimes they even hit what they aim at, if someone draws them a map.
Twidget: One of those denizens of the electronics spaces usually wearing a heavy coat because of the air conditioning cranked up all the way. Have no knowledge of 'Seaman Manual Labor' because they have never met him. When confronted with a situation requiring physical effort will spend at least half the time involved in the evolution arguing over who is senior and in charge. Able to gaze for hours at CRT's and divine odd signals in something resembling an intelligent manner, but mus be instructed on how to use a paint brush!
Missile Monks: Odd cousin to the gun bunny seem to have no visible reason for being aboard ship other than to stand twidget watches since their missile mount is always broken.
Fire control pukes: See above
Airdales: those who fly and maintain the aircraft aboard ship, almost universally under the impression that the presence of wings on their uniforms give them the ability to fly without the aircraft and that all those who do not are beneath them.
CPO; see also goat Denizens of the 'Goat Locker' senior enlisted leaders of the ship, but have a tendency to forget that they used to work for a living and are not officers.
JO's; (Junior Officers O-3 and below) lowest form of plant life ever discovered by mankind, some have actually found the 'book' and tried to tell those who have been doing a job for longer than they have been in the Navy how to do it! Had a LtJg. try to tell a Master Chief Electronics Technician (Master Chief of the Command) how to tie the ship up. Master Chief calmly stopped supervising the aft line-handlers and informed the Jg that he had more time in the pisser than he did in the Navy and get away from him, with all due respect of course.
O's (Zero's); those above O-3 who get the respect because they have survived long enough to have learned that the enlisted guys run the ship and generally have a far better idea how to make the gear do what it is supposed to than they ever will.
Sonar Pukes; not sure what they do since they rarely ever are seen except when they need fifteen people to load ASROCs...
Torpedo men: people who stare into empty torpedo tubes then fire live fish onto the pier (U.S.S. Hewitt 1985) an upcoming story for later.
Quarter gaskets; ships navigators who can navigate across entire oceans to get the ship into the exact spot on the chart to get us into port but can't read a tidal chart causing you to have to circle around in Norfolk 200 yards from the pier because they got us in after the damned carrier and we had to wait for tugs after a four month deployment.
Yeoman; paper shufflers who have the ability to lose anything that is not of absolute importance to them with staggering speed until about four minutes before it will cause them some personal inconvenience.
Messy Specialist; Changed the name since I was active CS (Culinary Specialist), Cooks, under-appreciated (by anyone not in supply dept.) who have the ability to turn huge amounts of perfectly good food into something.......gray, green, brown, (what day of the week is it and I'll tell what the color is).
Boatswains Mates; The hardest working, most able to adapt to change, department on the ship, able to do almost anything with nothing in no time at all. Handsome, knuckle-dragging, profane, generally tattooed, stiff, sore, hard working, steaming, shooting, painting, helo flying, refueling, Unrepping Under-Way Replenishment), watch standing in any weather, deck apes.Gee can you tell which one I was?
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Old Jan 20, 2009, 10:41 PM
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the above descriptions are not intended as a flame but just to be amusing should you desire to flame me just PM me or tell a good story about the deckapes!
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 03:17 AM
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@Fooman - Here, here. My second job in the Navy was as a First Louey (first was ASWO and third was Nav) so I've always had a high regard for Bos'ns mates. Sounds like we were in at about the same time, except I was a West coast type. I've got a ton of sea stories, unfortunately almost all are R-rated or above (and every one true)!

I'm sure you remember this one better than I, it goes something like this:

The XO knows God.
The CO talks to God.
But the CPO -IS- God.

Nice to know my fellow old sea farts are still driving boats... just a bit smaller in tonnage!
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 06:33 AM
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Quote:
P.S.S; An optimist looks at a glass half full, a pessimist looks at the same glass and sees half empty, an engineer looks at the glass and says...... "it's over-designed and twice as big as it needs to be!"
Surely the engineer would say "Who's been drinking MY beer?"
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 08:04 AM
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Kahuna,
BM chain of command;
Chief (who thinks he is god)
Division officer (who would think (if he had the equipment) he was god)
Department Head (who knows he is god, if he had the time to finish his paperwork)
XO (who sits at the right of god and hopes to be one some day)
CO (who is god but is so busy babysitting that he doesnot have time to enjoy it) Got that one from my dad who is a retired two star

mfr02,
That would be a snipe. I was referring to those people who stare at blueprints and computer screens and design things without actually talking to the people who have use them (like the waste heat boilers on Sprucans).
Foo
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Old Jan 21, 2009, 08:08 AM
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Kahuna, also just have to figure out how to edit them down to PG.....That takes me about half the time on writing these also.
Foo
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