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Old Jun 26, 2009, 12:12 PM
swede
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United States, UT, Vineyard
Joined Aug 2005
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Well, it looks like we lost.
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Old Jun 26, 2009, 01:44 PM
How do I change this text?
Darth_Elevator's Avatar
The Beautiful Mountains of Utah
Joined Oct 2006
6,232 Posts
Yes, the lousy meteorologists won this round. But we can win the next round if we step up our game. For starters, I'm going to buy a nicer umbrella, some galoshes, one of those bright yellow hooded rain suits, some waterproof gloves, an underwater camera, waterproof pants, and a diamond-studded rain poncho.
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Old Jun 26, 2009, 02:45 PM
Lee
PERFECT LANDING !!!
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USA, UT, Orem
Joined Jul 2004
9,244 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth_Elevator
Yes, the lousy meteorologists won this round. But we can win the next round if we step up our game. For starters, I'm going to buy a nicer umbrella, some galoshes, one of those bright yellow hooded rain suits, some waterproof gloves, an underwater camera, waterproof pants, and a diamond-studded rain poncho.
Don't forget a snorkel and some skeeter repellent.
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Old Jun 26, 2009, 04:24 PM
How do I change this text?
Darth_Elevator's Avatar
The Beautiful Mountains of Utah
Joined Oct 2006
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Okay, just added them to the list.
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Old Jun 26, 2009, 04:56 PM
swede
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United States, UT, Vineyard
Joined Aug 2005
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I think the thing that lost it for me was not only did I wash the jeep, but I washed the pig-mobile too. Today especially sucked because I got stuck in the rain on the bike.
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Old Jun 26, 2009, 05:03 PM
How do I change this text?
Darth_Elevator's Avatar
The Beautiful Mountains of Utah
Joined Oct 2006
6,232 Posts
Yes, next time instead of washing the jeep, take it offroading until it's completely covered with mud. Put a sign on it that says, "Why wash my jeep when the rain will do it for me?" Then park the jeep somewhere where a meteorologist will see it.
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Old Jun 26, 2009, 06:22 PM
Crash happens! :)
Utah
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Would someone buy Stock in some Umbrella and Kite making companies so we could fly already?
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Old Jul 13, 2009, 02:04 PM
How do I change this text?
Darth_Elevator's Avatar
The Beautiful Mountains of Utah
Joined Oct 2006
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"The Weather Witch"

A tasteless, odorless, and colorless play by Darth Elevator

Scene 1: A pub in Salem, Massachusetts. Year 1692. Two men are seated at a bar.

First man: Have you got anything special planned for the weekend?

Second man: Nope. I think it's going to rain all weekend.

First man: And why do you think that?

Second man: A high pressure system will move in this evening from the east, likely causing scattered showers and thunderstorms throughout the morning, followed by heavy rainfall in the afternoon and evening. Chance of precipitation 85%. Rain will continue into Sunday morning and taper off in the afternoon, with a high temperature of 67. Chance of precipitation on Sunday is 70%. A low pressure system will move in Sunday night, dragging a cold front into the area by Monday morning. Strong winds ahead of and along the cold front will combine with drier air moving from the southwest to result in hazardous fire weather conditions throught much of the northern Massachusetts.

First man: Har! Har! Har! Another pint for me friend here.

[Bartender, who has been staring at Second Man the whole time, slips into the corner and whispers to someone seated in the shadows.]


Scene 2: Sunday night. Second Man from previous scene is asleep in his bed when an angry mob breaks into the house.

Angry Mobber 1: There he is! Grab him, boys, and don't let 'im go!

Angry Mobber 2: Careful! Hold his hands down so he can't cast one of those demmed weather spells on us!

Second Man: What are you doing? I've done no wrong.

Angry Mobber 3: No wrong, heh? Well then, how do you explain the fact that it rained all weekend long, just as you predicted? You ruined a perfectly good weekend when me and the boys were planning on going out to the sod farm and watch the birds fly.

Second Man: Well, technically, it wasn't a prediction. It's called a forecast. It's based on scientif--

Angry Mobber 4: It's all the same. To Gallows Hill with this witch before he brings a hurricane down upon our heads!

[Mob drags man out, kicking and screaming.]

THE END
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Old Jul 13, 2009, 03:20 PM
Hit Me! Please!
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Provo, UT
Joined Jan 2005
3,989 Posts
I must have been reading a weather report generated by one of his progeny for this past Saturday. It called for max 5-10 mph winds out at tooele. They were more like 30-40 mph. On our way home Todd and I saw a plastic garbage bag that was picked up by the wind and was up to about 1000 ft before it disappeared. There were also some very awesome looking clouds. It would have been time to head to the storm cellar in the midwest!
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Old Mar 04, 2010, 01:58 PM
How do I change this text?
Darth_Elevator's Avatar
The Beautiful Mountains of Utah
Joined Oct 2006
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Get this. In a weather forecast, "occasional" rain means 80 to 100% chance of rain. What? Apparently, you can graduate in meteorology without having to pass a single English class.

Or......this just proves what we've all suspected for a very long time -- that meteorologists' collective mission is to ruin our flying plans every single week, and that they accomplish this mission through an elaborate propaganda machine based on misinformation and misunderstanding. Don't believe me? Here's the proof. Some researchers looked into how we, the gullible public, understand and interpret certain standardized terminology used in National Weather Service forecasts. The public, on average, thought "occasional" rain meant a 50% chance of rain, not the 80-100% that it is assigned by the NWS. The public thought "isolated" showers and "scattered" showers both meant a 34% chance of rain, yet the former means only 10% and the latter means 30-50%. The public thought a "few" showers meant a 28% chance of rain, when it only means 10%. And the public thought that "occasional," "likely," "frequent," and "numerous" all meant different things, yet ALL of them may be used interchangeably to mean an 80-100% chance of rain.

Here's a list of NWS's terms to forecast rain, along with their assigned probability percentage, in order from lowest probability to highest:
few -- 10%
isolated -- 10%
slight chance -- 10-20%
widely scattered -- 20%
chance -- 30-50%
scattered -- 30-50%
areas of -- 80-100%
occasional -- 80-100%
developing -- 80-100%
periods of -- 80-100%
likely -- 80-100%
frequent -- 80-100%
ending -- 80-100%
numerous -- 80-100%


So what do we do?

I propose we each do one and only one of the following:

A) Do nothing except rant in this thread.
B) Waterproof all our planes and ignore the weather liars altogether.
C) Fight this war of words with MORE WORDS. Send letters to your local meteorologist asking him or her to adopt the following exclusive list of probability indicators:


Zero chance of rain = 0% chance of rain
It might kinda like rain sorta maybe = 20-50% chance of rain
Grab your ponchos because this one's gonna be a doozy = 80-100% chance of rain
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Old Mar 22, 2010, 10:36 PM
How do I change this text?
Darth_Elevator's Avatar
The Beautiful Mountains of Utah
Joined Oct 2006
6,232 Posts
Looks like that last post was a real thread killer. Maybe something a little less cerebral is in order:

The other day I shot a meteorologist in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

In other news, looks like this is my 5,000th post. That's truly pathetic.
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Old Mar 23, 2010, 05:26 PM
Sink? Circling now to confirm.
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United States, UT, American Fork
Joined May 2002
17,093 Posts
Good stuff Cliff!!!!

Weatherman are just people who lie too well to be a Senator
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Old Mar 23, 2010, 05:36 PM
How do I change this text?
Darth_Elevator's Avatar
The Beautiful Mountains of Utah
Joined Oct 2006
6,232 Posts
A meteorologist couldn't tell his thunderhead from his asteroid.
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Old Apr 20, 2010, 05:40 PM
How do I change this text?
Darth_Elevator's Avatar
The Beautiful Mountains of Utah
Joined Oct 2006
6,232 Posts
After I sloped at Ensign Peak today, I returned to my car to find it sweltering hot due to the hot sun. Contrast this with a couple weeks ago when I finished sloping at Ensign and had to run the heater in my car to warm up my fingertips. Would it be too unreasonable for the meteorologists to give us even a couple weeks of 60-degree weather before we charge right into the 70's and higher? I mean, last time I checked, April is officially part of spring, not late summer. Well, that is, unless the meteorologists got together and voted to officially move April out of spring.

I suspect the meteorologists are no longer content to ruin only our weekend flying -- but they are now intent on ruining weekday flying, too. They are probably trying to consolidate the four seasons down to just two: too cold to fly; and too hot to fly.
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Old Apr 20, 2010, 05:51 PM
Sink? Circling now to confirm.
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United States, UT, American Fork
Joined May 2002
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I just read where due to global warming that spring was coming up to 2 weeks earlier. And exactly who is worried about this???? Sign me up for more Global warming. How long would I have to idle the Blazer out front to make it 3 weeks early????
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