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Old Jan 26, 2013, 07:17 PM
Full Scale Piper Cub Driver
Piper J3's Avatar
Hinckley, Ohio
Joined Nov 2008
2,268 Posts
My relatives have had fist fights at both weddings and funerals. Maybe I could contribute a chapter?

Please do! I always enjoy inter-family strife.

Wedding

On my mother’s side…her younger cousin ~ age 19 getting married for 1st time. Bride’s father (my mother’s uncle) and his son-in-law (one of his other daughters) get in a fight. I think he called him a bad name. I was very young at the time and I must say impressionable. Some heavy drinking and fight starts in the parking lot and moves into catholic reception hall. Major fist fight. Bride's father crashes through a louvered door which is the room where holy statues are stored – broke a bunch. Crowd kinda dispersed after that. This was years ago before police were required at weddings – I wonder why? We stayed overnight with the relatives and there was a fair amount of yelling at breakfast the next morning. Mom’s cousin’s first marriage didn’t last anyway, but it was a fun trip.

Funeral

Mother’s side of the family again (I see a pattern). Mother’s aunt is living with her brother in LasVegas where she dies (he’s a blackjack dealer). He’s also a Jehovah Witness and states that she be buried in NV. Aunt’s son lives in Ohio and decides she should be buried here. Only service is at the cemetery with open coffin. Preacher says all the words and they get ready to close up shop. Son places flowers in with his mother which his uncle thinks violates some holy order. It’s middle of winter, windy and near zero temp. Son says flowers stay or you and I are having it out right here and now. Flowers stayed in the coffin and everyone stuck around until coffin was lowered. Never saw anything like it. Oh, and there was no luncheon afterwards either.

This is a cool thread. I like hanging with you folks...
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Old Jan 26, 2013, 08:30 PM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
USA, FL, Pensacola
Joined Sep 2004
4,904 Posts
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Originally Posted by Hossfly72 View Post
Downtown Mobile for Mardi Gras. Why do I let myself be talked into hanging out with 100,000 of my closest friends?!?!?!?
Dude I hope you're .......................covered.
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Old Jan 26, 2013, 08:43 PM
Egads! It's a GIRL!
Lil Stinkpot's Avatar
United States, CA, San Jose
Joined Jul 2011
3,224 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Canardly View Post
I'm extremely boring @ this rate!
now for mysteries plus
It's a canard kit.


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Old Jan 26, 2013, 09:03 PM
AMA 3959
alstrahm's Avatar
United States, CA, San Jose
Joined Oct 2002
1,410 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piper J3 View Post
My relatives have had fist fights at both weddings and funerals. Maybe I could contribute a chapter?

Please do! I always enjoy inter-family strife.

Wedding

On my motherís sideÖher younger cousin ~ age 19 getting married for 1st time. Brideís father (my motherís uncle) and his son-in-law (one of his other daughters) get in a fight. I think he called him a bad name. I was very young at the time and I must say impressionable. Some heavy drinking and fight starts in the parking lot and moves into catholic reception hall. Major fist fight. Bride's father crashes through a louvered door which is the room where holy statues are stored Ė broke a bunch. Crowd kinda dispersed after that. This was years ago before police were required at weddings Ė I wonder why? We stayed overnight with the relatives and there was a fair amount of yelling at breakfast the next morning. Momís cousinís first marriage didnít last anyway, but it was a fun trip.

Funeral

Motherís side of the family again (I see a pattern). Motherís aunt is living with her brother in LasVegas where she dies (heís a blackjack dealer). Heís also a Jehovah Witness and states that she be buried in NV. Auntís son lives in Ohio and decides she should be buried here. Only service is at the cemetery with open coffin. Preacher says all the words and they get ready to close up shop. Son places flowers in with his mother which his uncle thinks violates some holy order. Itís middle of winter, windy and near zero temp. Son says flowers stay or you and I are having it out right here and now. Flowers stayed in the coffin and everyone stuck around until coffin was lowered. Never saw anything like it. Oh, and there was no luncheon afterwards either.

This is a cool thread. I like hanging with you folks...
I am speechless! JW's run in my family This thread is a book for sure
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Old Jan 26, 2013, 09:18 PM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
USA, FL, Pensacola
Joined Sep 2004
4,904 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piper J3 View Post

This is a cool thread. I like hanging with you folks...
Excellent stories and welcome to the thread PJ3. Anyone that drives a Cub has GOT TO BE a stellar individual.

We haven't had a good butt kickin' at a wedding or funeral here yet but my oldest daughter is getting married May 1st this year. There's still hope for a memorable outcome. Your post has given me the idea so I have a little over 2 months to figure out a way to trigger a free for all at the reception while staying clear of the flying furniture. Hmmm, maybe something involving my younger daughter and her legendary big mouth. Possibly an igniter involving the Best Man spreading a rumor concerning the Groom-to-be having last minute confusion over his .........................orientation. That'd do it.

I do have one memorable funeral experience:

My mom and her sister were quite irreverent. You just couldn't leave those two unsupervised.

They had an uncle that was notoriously fastidious with his home and furnishings. Seemed like every time we went over there there would be at least one incident where someone came too close to a piano or other fine antique and he would utter the same phrase: "Be Careful, you'll scar it!". Used to irritate the crap out of mom and Ruth.

Well, uncle passed away, and mom's side of the family is Irish so...........you can imagine everyone getting braced for the grief filled afternoon funeral. Wine was involved.

So, we're at the cemetery, the ceremony is pretty much over, a stillness has blanketed the crowd, everyone solemn and they start cranking the casket down into the final resting spot. My aunt is between myself and mom. Ruth whispers loud enough for mom and I to hear, in a pretty good imitation of their uncle's voice.................................

You guessed it! "Be careful! You'll scar it".

All three of us lost it. We face palmed to try to hide it, even tried to cover the guffaws by disguising them as cries of anguish. Without looking up we just knew every head in that crowd was turned towards us. Finally Ruth and myself start getting back under control but mom is, if anything getting worse. Finally she gives up and heads to the car. Some really old lady was standing right by us two remaining offenders. She watches mom trot off to the car and says to me "She must have been very close to him. She's really upset". I replied "More than you can imagine". Ruth then loses it and chases after mom. I finally excuse myself and join them. The ride back to the house to attend the wake was quite memorable. Mom says "I CANNOT believe you did that!!!!!". My aunt states in reply " I think I peed myself back there".

Then we got to the house for the post-funeral get together and things went downhill from there.
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Old Jan 27, 2013, 09:40 AM
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robh's Avatar
Napa, California
Joined Jul 2006
2,521 Posts
Priceless story Sean. I'm convinced, in addition to maybe becoming an author, you should consider screenwriting! I can just see that "bit" in a movie... priceless.

Rob
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Old Jan 27, 2013, 10:01 AM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
USA, FL, Pensacola
Joined Sep 2004
4,904 Posts
Thanks for the compliments but truth be told I sit on the couch and type away instead of doing something constructive like watch TV. I should be out in the shop building a kit but I'm a bit burned out there too. This time of year at work I'm pulling deep maintenance on equipment, helping on annuals and doing stuff on the boss's car collection. When I get home and during the day on weekends it's house remodeling tasks so when the evening comes my brain and hands are tired. So, I sit here and try to rid my mind of complicated (for me) stuff.

An idle mind is the Devil's workshop.
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Old Jan 27, 2013, 06:12 PM
life long racing nut & modeler
granada don's Avatar
Granada Hills Ca.
Joined Nov 2009
1,768 Posts
Like i say ' Sean is the Best ' at this story telling stuff
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Old Jan 27, 2013, 09:53 PM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
USA, FL, Pensacola
Joined Sep 2004
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Thanks GDon, if I really am that good it's because of my family. I used to spend summers in NE Tennessee with my grandma, the producer of the Funeral Crashers. On the outside she looked like a typical grandmother but under that enormous bosom beat the heart of a true comic warrior. Sweet, a fabulous cook, matronly yet a razor sharp mind, quick witted, funny as hell and imaginative.

She lived in a small Mayberry-esque town. Her street was typical Americana, Craftsman style houses close together, everyone with a front porch and a sidewalk connecting all of the dwellings. Somehow when she bought that place she landed in the center of Wringling Brothers/Barnum and Bailey winter camp. . I mean she was surrounded by a cast of characters worthy of a Mel Brooks epic. She had the town drunk, the shell shocked war veteran, the local floozie, the sheriff, the Ricky and Lucy, the mentally disturbed, the frustrated and the too stupid to live. Funny thing was it was a nice neighborhood and everyone was normal while the sun shined. At nightfall the place turned into Peyton Place meets the Walking Dead meets Animal House.

Of course that meant we would eat dinner, clean up the dishes, watch a few minutes of Hee Haw on the tube then slide out to the front porch, grab a rocker and await the festivities to begin. I can remember like it was yesterday, Nanny rocking, crocheting away, telling family tales and anticipating the next episode of The Twilight Zone R.F.D... Nothing like sharing quality time with your grandma, seeing the town lush come skidding sideways into his driveway, her getting a gleam in her eye, jump out of the chair and state "Let's go screw with his head". Off we go, Grandma Ninja-like sticking close to the shadows as we sneak up on the unsuspecting impaired. Just as he's fumbling with the house key, out leaps Granny asking a barrage of friendly questions, inquiring of his health, his family, How's work, did you hear about so and so and then throwing in a subtle remark, a mental grenade if you will. Just anything to make sure that household's lights burned late into the night.

When the mission was complete we victors would march proudly back to base camp and feast on whatever amazing confectionery creation she had whipped up that day. With a "Job well done" I'd head off to bed only to lie awake dreaming of the day that I too would have neighbors that I might leave befuddled late at night when the moon is full and the air still.

Oh, both daughters came by today and I mentioned (with a nod to PJ3) the upcoming wedding and the possibility of a memorable battle royal. As soon as I mentioned it I was answered with a resounding "I'm in" from both of them. Ideas were batted about. Only basic alteration to the plan was put out by Katie (the one getting married) who asked that we move the timing until the reception. She wants to have enough time to get out of her wedding dress and into looser fitting cloths. That's my girl! Always the practical one.
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Old Jan 27, 2013, 10:37 PM
life long racing nut & modeler
granada don's Avatar
Granada Hills Ca.
Joined Nov 2009
1,768 Posts
Hey Magic Pen, very cool stuff indeed!! what a great thread that Stevo started
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Old Jan 27, 2013, 11:05 PM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
USA, FL, Pensacola
Joined Sep 2004
4,904 Posts
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Originally Posted by granada don View Post
Hey Magic Pen, very cool stuff indeed!! what a great thread that Stevo started
Oh yeah! The Stevenator, true master of the South Pacific, Kangaroo's worst nightmare, pedal pumping philosopher and future Australian Balsa building National champion! He's busy right now as we all know getting Woodie Central in order. He'll pop in as time allows.

The better half and I was discussing future vacation plans recently. We really did settle on The Wonderful World of Aus as a destination due to my mom's recommendations. Steve may have heard about my momma. Apparently there was some incident when she was asked to board the plane for her return flight home from a Medical convention. It involved several security personnel, mom , a Federal Marshals and some luggage handlers. She did NOT want to come back.

I think it best not to warn Steve ahead of time. I'd like to just show up, present myself to him and his better half and spend a few days embarrassing the couple and leaving a trail of debris and unpaid debts before heading home.

Sleep good tonight Stever, see you soon.
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Old Jan 27, 2013, 11:40 PM
ahh crap! crunch..
atmosteve's Avatar
Australia, QLD, Fraser Island
Joined Nov 2007
3,864 Posts
No worries Sean, I'll set the tent up at the slope for you, leave you with a small fleet of gliders, and drop off new flight batteries each morning on the way to work. I'll leave my bike up there for you so you can come down for food as needed. Your missus and my frau can easily entertain themselves, both are good old country girls.

Yes, always a room for you here if you visit and it would really make my year to do some more flying and BSing with any of my online RC pals. We will convert you to, to better ways, but more on that later.


Went up the slope this arv, only to find I'd left the wing joiner rods for two birds at home. Ok no worries then we can fly the S15 plank. Nope, damaged electrics from the last time I tried to send it clean through a chunky gum tree branch two weeks ago, lost model finder wiring is damaged somewhere. Oh well, no checking that glider for post-repair performance. So, we have the poor old EZG last of all, the radian pro not airworthy yet for want of two deans plugs, the EZ has a new screw to check out. Hmmm, what is this, a case of old twitchy servo's while in the back of the Ute trayback, sh!!!t !! Placed on the ground and it comes good so we have a 1o minute flight at least and the wind is so dirty and gusty that it merely tumbles around the sky, but the new folding prop gives much more mellow drive.

Dirty sky in the aftermath of ex-tropical cyclone Oswald (we copped cat-3 conditions Sat night and the town is a mess) dirty lift on the slope, no joiner rods, radio problems and an ominous feeling that it all wasn't right had me back home within 30 minutes. Some days are like that and you should walk away.

So, no wood splitting. Sorry that's all I got to report.

Don, I take no credit for this thread, it's something I actually refuse due to good sense.

Sean bring your daughters with you please, I may not live, but what a way to go looking into the eyes of a lovely honey as she probably, quite rightly, pops a round between your eyes.
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Old Jan 28, 2013, 12:09 AM
who has rabbit ears down
Captain Canardly's Avatar
United States, MN, Buffalo
Joined Jan 2007
3,380 Posts
Well, I guess Katie is getting the first shipment of mystery films! I did learn a few more things about it, and the email listing I have I (hopefully) got to all.
Too Much funeral laughs- I can't handle reality this week!(tell ya later)
Nope Katie, is isn't just Canards, but more for super thin 'foils as this:
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Old Jan 28, 2013, 06:19 AM
Egads! It's a GIRL!
Lil Stinkpot's Avatar
United States, CA, San Jose
Joined Jul 2011
3,224 Posts
Ahhhh, you're J B from the Yahoo Group? I saw that new foil. Thin!


I have pictures I gotta share later from yesterday's contest. It was NOT a good day for the planes, with a shredded woodie, a missing Radian (mine), and an electrifried Exploder that landed across some power lines and got reduced to smelly black fluff. It was lost a mile or so downwind, and was found only when some guys came up, dressed in churchy attire, with the wreckage. It seems it knocked out some power, too.
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Old Jan 28, 2013, 07:58 AM
Full Scale Piper Cub Driver
Piper J3's Avatar
Hinckley, Ohio
Joined Nov 2008
2,268 Posts
seanpcola you conjured up childhood memories with my grandmother (motherís side again). Summer evening just like you describe, sitting on the front porch, when next door neighbors return home from the bar about 10P and proceed to drive through the back wall of their brick garage. They had a pretty good head of steam. Iím sure most of the neighborhood heard the commotion and carrying-on. Both husband and wife had red noses like Rudolph. I was pretty young but still realized that operating mechanized equipment when impaired is not a good idea.

My grandmother (nickname Muncie) was Hungarian ancestry. Talk about a good cook. She learned broken English when she came to this country. She used to say ďlet me pay you a beerĒ. Her brother is my motherís uncle from the wedding fight. When those two got together all bets were off.

Glad your daughters liked to wedding fiasco and are preparing for such. Change of clothes is always good before a brawl or food fight.

PJ3
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