HobbyKing.com New Products Flash Sale
Closed Thread
Thread Tools
Old Jan 05, 2003, 11:34 PM
Crash happens! :)
Utah
Joined Jun 2002
2,161 Posts
Funny
A funny story

Here is a funny story you may have seen but I thought I would pass it along that I found on the web.

"This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. Wait till you read this guy's response-but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.

Mr. Ryan DeVries
2088 Dagget St.
Pierson, MI 49339

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2002.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may
result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative Land and Water Management Division
__________________________________________________ __________

This is the actual response sent back:

Dear Mr. Price,

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan.

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skilful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place
you choose.

I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against
these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part
301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 24.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns.

My first concern is - aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation?
The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation-so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department s required to protect.

In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2002?
The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump). Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office

Regards"
Arrow is offline Find More Posts by Arrow
Last edited by Arrow; May 22, 2008 at 09:54 AM.
Old Jan 06, 2003, 03:41 AM
The original Flying Pigs Sqd.
Up&Away's Avatar
Netanya, Israel
Joined Aug 2002
9,972 Posts
Does anybody know if Mr. DeVries has received any answer to his letter?
Up&Away is offline Find More Posts by Up&Away
Old Jan 08, 2003, 03:35 PM
Captain Carnage says......
AirWarriorBelgy's Avatar
Seminole (St Pete.), Florida/ Seminole Crash Fest
Joined Jun 2002
5,329 Posts
like i always say....."So much for the Dam Experts!!!"

and you can add the "Dam knowitalls too!!!"

Chuck
AirWarriorBelgy is offline Find More Posts by AirWarriorBelgy
Old Jan 08, 2003, 06:43 PM
Old Desert Rat
Arizona Chuck's Avatar
Rimrock AZ. USA
Joined Mar 2000
1,113 Posts
The "know it all's" are really irritating to those of us that really do.
Arizona Chuck is offline Find More Posts by Arizona Chuck
Old Jan 13, 2003, 04:31 PM
**********
jbc455's Avatar
San Jose, California
Joined Jan 2002
1,199 Posts
This is something of a true Urbal Legend.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.htm

A good read in any case.

John
jbc455 is offline Find More Posts by jbc455
Closed Thread


Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Category Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Funny story (almost lost my plane in the ocean) Ben74 Electric Plane Talk 9 Oct 30, 2001 04:57 PM