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Old May 11, 2007, 03:48 AM
Its all fun
Tonystott's Avatar
Australia, NSW, Forster
Joined Oct 2004
7,177 Posts
Joke
Dog diary vs Cat diary

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary



8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!



9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!



9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!



10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!



12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!



1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!



3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!



5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!



7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!



8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!



11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!







Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary



Day 983 of my captivity.



My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.



They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash

or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations

perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my

strength.



The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to

disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.



Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I

had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending

comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.



Morons.



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed

in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear

the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to

the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to

my advantage.



Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this

again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.



I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The

dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be

more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to

be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am

certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective

custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
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Old May 11, 2007, 11:08 AM
Don't look at me like that....
62pilot's Avatar
United States, AR, McDougal
Joined Aug 2005
2,801 Posts
Funny, I always knew that was the way it was.



Tom
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Old May 11, 2007, 12:52 PM
Registered User
Butters's Avatar
Your Mama's house!
Joined Mar 2005
6,196 Posts
Dude that was a bit of awesome right there!
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Old May 12, 2007, 01:51 PM
Who, What, When, Where!
dwvache's Avatar
United States, PA
Joined Feb 2006
8 Posts
In a Dog's Mind:

You Feed me, House me, Fulfill my every need, "YOU MUST BE GOD"

In a Cat's mind

You Feed me, House me, Fulfill my every need, "I MUST BE GOD"
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Old May 12, 2007, 03:52 PM
Not THAT Ira
Real Ira's Avatar
Coupeville, Wa
Joined Jan 2006
4,722 Posts
This sums it up....
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Old May 17, 2007, 03:42 AM
Registered User
Joined Apr 2007
1 Posts
is that about our cat...he is always throwing up.
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