|Nov 21, 2006, 12:50 AM|
I'd say women are a mystery, but they are not really. They're just something a little different then you know right now. I'm 43, was single until 35, and I still am learning about women every day. I assume I will up until the day I die. My 83 year-old grandma used to say things like, "Those men have only one thing on their mind." So as near as I can tell, I'll still be trying to figure out women even then.
1) This is a life long marathon, not a sprint. So don't sweat it if you blow this one. There'll be others. Lots of them.
2) There's really not much to know about love. If mentally challanged people can meet, fall in live, and get married (and they do), then it really can't be that difficult for you.
3) However, there is a lot to learn about yourself while hunting for love. Every situation, both good and bad, is an opportunity to learn more, and make less mistakes.
4) You're going to make a lot of mistakes, so get used to it. If she really likes you, it won't matter to her when you do make a mistake or two. If she doesn't really like you, there's nothing you can do, so forget her, and move on to someone who does care. Oh, and try not to make the same mistake twice.
5) Meet as many women as you can. Go out of your way to meet them. Learn how to be friendly, and how to make friends with them. Most of the ones you meet, you wont date, but they'll still teach you a thing or two if you pay attention. The more comfortable you are around women, the better your chances are when you do meet someone you want to date.
6) Girls like pirates. Really. Guys with beards that look like they are footloose, and skirting the law, will get all kinds of girls. Of course, they usually don't know how to keep them, but they do get them. So take a lesson from the ones that are successful.
Pirates don't get affected too much when a girl's emotions go all over the place (and they do go all over the place). Pirates seem like a solid rock in a sea of crazyness. They usually are not, but they seem like a rock, and that's all that matters.
The more self-confidence you gain from meeting, and making friends, with girls, the more their emotional drama will wash up against you, but leave you unchanged. This is good. But you have to experiece a lot of it to know what is important, and what is not.
Whatever you do, do NOT do something like buy a car in the hopes that a girl will be impressed by it. Buy the stang if you want it (my wife's had 3), but not because she might like it.
If the girl digs you, then you can show up on a skateboard, and still be cool. If she doesn't dig you, then no car in the world will get you near her heart.
|Nov 21, 2006, 01:10 AM|
One additional scrap of advice about women that I learned a bit later in life than I wished I had.
Women have a sixth sense when it comes to picking up on a man's level of self-confidence. Show her you're confident to the point that you're not desperate to get with her (this goes back to the he who cares least thing). You may in fact get her to begin pursuing YOU (I had it happen to me twice).
If you come across as a scared little boy, she won't be attracted at all.
Rent a movie called 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High', and study the Mike Damone character. He is a great example of the aloof coolness and confidence that works on many women. He gives his geeky pal Ratner a bit of great girl advice--"You gotta act like wherever you are, that's the place to be."
|Nov 21, 2006, 07:44 AM|
Act confident, not over confident, But please do not miss this chance. You only live once and you can't go back in time.
|Nov 21, 2006, 10:34 AM|
Ask her to meet you at a Movie, skate rink, (or find out where she goes and show up) whatever it is you crazy kids do these days.... If your parents are cool with it pick her up and have them drop you off.
As said by others ASK.... you've got little to lose and lots to gain (it IS a numbers game).
Be honest and listen. And if she's interested and you like her..... Tell her you like her.
As to the numbers game............
I used to go to the mall with roses.....my phone number attached.... and give them to girls that caught my eye. 2 out of ten called me and off we went.
I even had a friend who in later years in clubs would just go up and ask girls "So...are we going out or what?". Worked about 3 times out of ten. More face to face rejection.... too much for me.... but it worked.
The main thing is go ahead and talk to her. The more you do it the easier it gets. The easier it gets the more dates you get. Confidence is king.
Also... some might not agree... but I didn't always go for the 10's... If I liked the way she moved, thought, and acted then that worked for me too.....even if she wasn't the "stunner" of the bunch. Dumb chicks get old FAST. Smart chicks are cool.
Here's another incredibly stupid line that works (when you get older) "Oh come on... for you a few minutes of unpleasantness.....for me the memory of a lifetime". Goofy works on some too (more often than you think). Good luck.
|Nov 21, 2006, 11:05 AM|
First of all, as kitfoxdrvr and others have said, do something, talk to her, whatever it is, or you'll regret it later. Try to make her laugh (that doesn't mean playing the silly clown all the time) and be nice to her. It won't be that hard if she already likes you... and if even she doesn't, try anyway, or you'll never know!
|Nov 21, 2006, 11:09 AM|
Movies are good informal first dates, in particular if you go with a group of friends. You don't (and her for that matter) have to come up with all the conversation material that way. It also helps make things just a little easier in general. Go to a comedy if you can. Maybe you don't share the same friends, but I'll bet you know and can get along with some of hers. On the other hand, maybe she wouldn't mind going with some of your friends. Just make sure you don't end up going with several of your geeky friends....assumming you have some geeky friends, that is. I know at your age, I had a few geeky friends. They were OK, but they didn't help me make a good impressions.
|Nov 21, 2006, 07:52 PM|
Forget next summer. Try next week. If you make it that far, then next summer might be an option. If you don't, we'll maybe she has a sister.
Seriously, aiming that far ahead, when your odds are unknown, is just asking to be hurt. Never think about what you could do, do what you can do.
|Nov 21, 2006, 08:27 PM|
i think i can try next week, but i just don't know what to say! i no that theres alot of posts but can someone please tell me the BEST possible way to ask her out? because i know that i might be setting myself up for a heartbreak, but i don't get heartbreakes, i just let it go. But i think shes the ONE, i'm serious when i say this. But heres the thing almost every other girl there is is taken! and she is not one of the good looking and dumb people, she's good looking and smart! Can someone please give me the winning phrase?
|Nov 21, 2006, 09:06 PM|
Seriously, dude. No such phrase exists. There is no magic bullet, and there are no magic words with women. Ever. Say what's on you mind, even say, "I've been wanting to ask you out, but I don't know the what to say". She'll either like the words or she won't.
If she likes you, then short of hitting her, or insulting her, she will say yes. If she doesn't like you, then the sooner you know, the sooner you can move on.
In the game of love the dice are rigged, and there's no throw that doesn't contain some pain. Knowing this, and still making the throw, is what seperates the men from the boys. Bravery, like beautiful girls, doesn't come cheap. But I promise you, it's worth every cost.
Reminds me of the Rush song "Roll The Bones" (a phrase about rolling dice). Here's part of the bridge:
Whats the deal? spin the wheel.
If the dice are hot -- take a shot.
Play your cards. show us what you got --
What you're holding.
If the cards are cold,
Dont go folding.
Lady luck is golden;
She favors the bold. thats cold.
Stop throwing stones --
The night has a thousand saxophones.
So get out there and rock,
And roll the bones.
Link for the whole song.
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