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Old Jul 22, 2003, 02:27 AM
The original Flying Pigs Sqd.
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Netanya, Israel
Joined Aug 2002
9,950 Posts
Children. You've got to love them!

1. A father returned home from a trip just when a storm hit with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As he came into his bedroom about 2 a.m., he found his two children in bed with his wife, apparently scared by the loud storm. He resigned himself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, he talked to the children, and explained that it was O. K. to sleep with Mommy when the storm was bad, but when daddy was expected home, please don't sleep with Mommy that night. They said OK.

After his next trip several weeks later, his wife and children picked him up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, there were hundreds of other folks also waiting for their arriving passengers. As he entered the waiting area, his son saw him, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got
some good news!" As the father waved back, he said loudly, "What's the good news?"
"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!"


2. An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into the instrument:
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

3. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but
mother says I'm not."

4. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

5. A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

The best for last:

6. A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobies too."
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