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Old Nov 02, 2011, 01:14 PM
Registered User
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Joined Oct 2007
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Of course the candy bag is full of pee. O_o
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Old Nov 02, 2011, 02:18 PM
free bird
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South Africa, GP, Johannesburg
Joined Aug 2011
169 Posts
Or if you are on the recieving end and find some old farts false teeth in your candy bag...even worse you find that the candy you are sucking on is not very sweet.
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Old Nov 02, 2011, 03:01 PM
Always comPLANEing
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Pleasant Valley Modelport
Joined Sep 2006
8,259 Posts
candy catheter apples anyone ?
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Old Nov 02, 2011, 07:01 PM
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This thread ...

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Last edited by Pudknocker71; Nov 02, 2011 at 07:05 PM. Reason: Oops.. not the photo thread. :/ :P
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Old Nov 02, 2011, 09:37 PM
Registered User
United States, AZ, Tucson
Joined Nov 2010
3,978 Posts
+1 to the above
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Old Nov 02, 2011, 09:48 PM
David Drowns
Mig Man's Avatar
Southern California
Joined Nov 2010
137 Posts
There is an amusing story where a young school boy
inquires of his father, "Dad, what is the difference
between theory and fact?
"

Only too happy to help in his son's education, his father
answers, "Son, I will give you an example between
theory and fact. Go into the kitchen and ask your
mother and your older sister if they -truthfully-
would sleep with a total stranger for $20-million
."

Soon after, his son returns and tells his father, "Dad,
they both said - truthfully- that yes, for $20 million,
they would definitely sleep with a stranger.
"

The father looks at his son and says, "Okay son, in
theory we have $20-million. In fact, we have two
prostitutes!
"
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Old Nov 02, 2011, 10:20 PM
David Drowns
Mig Man's Avatar
Southern California
Joined Nov 2010
137 Posts
A Performance Review


Is it time for performance reviews at your work?
Here are some performance review terms and their meaning ...

Outgoing Personality
Always going out of the office

Great Presentation Skills
Bull thrower

Good Communication Skills
Spends lots of time on phone

Average Employee
Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified
Made no major blunders yet

Work is First Priority
Too ugly to get.a date

Active Socially
Drinks a lot

Family is Active Socially
Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker
Nobody knows what he/she does

Quick Thinking
Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker
Won't make a decision

Aggressive
Obnoxious

Uses Logic on Difficult Jobs
Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Themselves Well
Speaks English

Meticulous Attention to Detail
A nitpicker

Has Leadership Qualities
Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgment.
Lucky

Keen Sense of Humor
Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Career Minded
Back Stabber

Loyal
Can't get a job anywhere else
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Old Nov 03, 2011, 02:34 AM
Taking care of the pond.
MILLERTIME's Avatar
USA, CA, Fresno
Joined Apr 2004
7,177 Posts
Conversation in Texas Drugstore...

Redneck: “GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE.”

Cashier: “DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT SIR?”

Redneck: “NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!!”
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Old Nov 03, 2011, 03:25 PM
Taking care of the pond.
MILLERTIME's Avatar
USA, CA, Fresno
Joined Apr 2004
7,177 Posts
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:



1. Teaching Math In 1950s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?



2. Teaching Math In 1960s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?



3. Teaching Math In 1970s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit ?



4. Teaching Math In 1980s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.



5. Teaching Math In 1990s

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).



6. Teaching Math In 2010




Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?




ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a front for his marijuana growing.
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Old Nov 03, 2011, 03:55 PM
Thermite + ice = Big boom.
boaterguy's Avatar
Canada, ON, Ottawa
Joined Apr 2009
1,881 Posts
teaching math in my class (academic grade 10)
2+2=4 *ten hands go up* i don't understand!
okay class, while I explain to the rest of the class, you write a 5 paragraph essay on why 2+2=4
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Old Nov 03, 2011, 04:16 PM
Always comPLANEing
Chophop's Avatar
Pleasant Valley Modelport
Joined Sep 2006
8,259 Posts
tell them how 1+1 = 1
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Old Nov 03, 2011, 04:51 PM
Fly by Night
jteplane's Avatar
Phoenix, AZ
Joined Jan 2007
867 Posts
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!” posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”

“Yep, that’s him,” he replied.

The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

“Because,” the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
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Old Nov 03, 2011, 06:36 PM
Thermite + ice = Big boom.
boaterguy's Avatar
Canada, ON, Ottawa
Joined Apr 2009
1,881 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chophop View Post
tell them how 1+1 = 1
you mean by making it (1)(+1) ?
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Old Nov 03, 2011, 06:56 PM
EIEIEIO Classic is dway ta go!
flyinwalenda's Avatar
Northeast Pa. .Heyna or No?
Joined Aug 2009
1,754 Posts
1n4r5
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Old Nov 03, 2011, 07:59 PM
Danish? Don't U eat that??
DKChris's Avatar
Denmark
Joined Jan 2008
219 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by boaterguy View Post
you mean by making it (1)(+1) ?
Naahh maaan, it's, like, boolean logic, maan....
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