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Old Oct 07, 2011, 11:29 PM
Registered User
TLyttle's Avatar
Keremeos, BC Canada
Joined Mar 2004
2,639 Posts
Something else one doesn't need a license for to protect against intruders: Wasp and Hornet Spray. In your desk drawer, purse, night table, car, anywhere. Innocuous, but very powerful: instantly blinds the recipient for up to a half hour, so that you or the missus can lay a good lickin' on him and drag him out to the curb with the rest of the garbage. Cheap, too, and quiet.
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Old Oct 09, 2011, 06:45 PM
Culper Junior
eastern pa
Joined Feb 2007
2,204 Posts
Who would be quiet with wasp spray in their face?
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Old Oct 10, 2011, 10:03 PM
No,no,no a MUSIC gig
Chophop's Avatar
Pleasant Valley Modelport
Joined Sep 2006
8,665 Posts
Ha ha , it's Monday and I didn't have to go all day worrying that someone one caught my weekend on video.

But uhhhhhh, it was a ho hum one.
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Old Oct 11, 2011, 07:31 PM
Registered User
GBRellic's Avatar
Canada, BC, Vernon
Joined Mar 2009
249 Posts
The study is now complete and submitted.
Thanks to generous Government funding I was able to complete my research on Migratory Geese Formation Flying.
How often have we seen Geese flying in the familiar V formation and observed that frequently we see that one side of the formation is so much longer than the other and wondered why.
Now that my research is complete I can release the results and answer.



































MORE GEESE
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Old Oct 11, 2011, 08:30 PM
ein flugel schplinterizer
seanpcola's Avatar
USA, FL, Pensacola
Joined Sep 2004
5,081 Posts
At least you got more deifinitive results than most Gov't studies.............
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Old Oct 12, 2011, 07:31 AM
No,no,no a MUSIC gig
Chophop's Avatar
Pleasant Valley Modelport
Joined Sep 2006
8,665 Posts
Am I supposed to tell them profile this ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mig Man View Post
They're profiling you Chop....

They read your 'funny pics' comments....

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Last edited by Chophop; Oct 12, 2011 at 08:44 AM.
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Old Oct 12, 2011, 12:23 PM
David Drowns
Mig Man's Avatar
Southern California
Joined Nov 2010
137 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chophop View Post
Am I supposed to tell them profile this ?
It was a reference to this post.

Timing is everything.
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Old Oct 12, 2011, 07:47 PM
No,no,no a MUSIC gig
Chophop's Avatar
Pleasant Valley Modelport
Joined Sep 2006
8,665 Posts
Shame on you, making me laugh at my own joke. Pleasant surprise. Oh well, thanks, I needed one.
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Old Oct 13, 2011, 02:42 PM
Fly by Night
jteplane's Avatar
Phoenix, AZ
Joined Jan 2007
871 Posts
A guy and his dog walk into a pub and belly up to the bar. Guy says to the bartender, "I'll bet I can make my dog talk". Bartender says, "yea right, go for it....."
Guy turns to his dog and asks "Whats on top of a house?", dog replies "roopof".
then he asks "How was the engine on the plane running this morning", dog replies "rooof".
then he asks "Who was the best baseball player of all time?", dog replies "roooof".
The bartender grabs the guy and his dog by the collar and tosses them outside.
They both get up and dust themselves off,, dog turns to the guy and says "Do you think I should have said Dimaggio"?
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Old Oct 13, 2011, 02:48 PM
E-flyer since 1981
Michael in Toronto's Avatar
Joined Oct 2000
1,492 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by jteplane View Post
a guy and his dog walk into a pub and belly up to the bar. Guy says to the bartender, "i'll bet i can make my dog talk". Bartender says, "yea right, go for it....."
guy turns to his dog and asks "whats on top of a house?", dog replies "roopof".
Then he asks "how was the engine on the plane running this morning", dog replies "rooof".
Then he asks "who was the best baseball player of all time?", dog replies "roooof".
The bartender grabs the guy and his dog by the collar and tosses them outside.
They both get up and dust themselves off,, dog turns to the guy and says "do you think i should have said dimaggio"?
excellent !
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Old Oct 14, 2011, 05:30 PM
Registered User
mastmec's Avatar
United States, MO, Joplin
Joined Apr 2010
13 Posts
A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her before the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage, and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has witnessed the whole scene, and addressing the biker, says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life."

"Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."

"Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist from the New York Times, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this on the front page. What motorcycle do you ride and what political affiliation do you have?"

"A Harley Davidson, and I am a Republican."

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the New York Times and reads, on the front page:

*REPUBLICAN BIKER GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH*
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Old Oct 16, 2011, 12:50 PM
Danish? Don't U eat that??
DKChris's Avatar
Denmark
Joined Jan 2008
242 Posts
Town hall and Granny's Coffee shop agreed to have an annual rowing match in an eight.
Both teams practiced long and hard, and when the day of the match came, both teams were at their absolute peak - but Granny's Coffee shop won with a lead of 1 km.
After the defeat, moral in Town hall was at rock bottom, so the senior management decided that they had to win the following year.
A project team was put together to investigate the problem.
The project team after many studies found out that Granny's Grill had 8 men to row and 1 captain, while Town hall had 1 man rowing and 8 captains.
In this crisis situation management showed significant determination and initiative.
A consulting firm was employed to investigate the Town hall team structure and strategy, and experts after several months of work came to the conclusion that there were too many to manage and too few to row.
Based on the experts' feedback, changes to the team structure were immediately made.
It had now 4 first mates, 3 navigators, 1 captain and 1 rower.
Moreover, a point system was introduced for the rower as motivation : "We must expand his range of work and give him more responsibility to give him an increased feeling of influence on his performance. "
The following year Granny's coffee shop won with a lead of 2 km.
Town hall then fired the rower on basis of the poor performance, and stopped all investment in the development of a new boat. The consulting firm was praised for their good work, and the amount saved was devided among mangement as a bonus.
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Last edited by DKChris; Oct 16, 2011 at 12:55 PM.
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Old Oct 16, 2011, 01:04 PM
Registered User
USA, MO, O'Fallon
Joined Dec 2003
2,082 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by DKChris View Post
Town hall and Granny's Coffee shop agreed to have an annual rowing match in an eight.
Both teams practiced long and hard, and when the day of the match came, both teams were at their absolute peak - but Granny's Coffee shop won with a lead of 1 km.
After the defeat, moral in Town hall was at rock bottom, so the senior management decided that they had to win the following year.
A project team was put together to investigate the problem.
The project team after many studies found out that Granny's Grill had 8 men to row and 1 captain, while Town hall had 1 man rowing and 8 captains.
In this crisis situation management showed significant determination and initiative.
A consulting firm was employed to investigate the Town hall team structure and strategy, and experts after several months of work came to the conclusion that there were too many to manage and too few to row.
Based on the experts' feedback, changes to the team structure were immediately made.
It had now 4 first mates, 3 navigators, 1 captain and 1 rower.
Moreover, a point system was introduced for the rower as motivation : "We must expand his range of work and give him more responsibility to give him an increased feeling of influence on his performance. "
The following year Granny's coffee shop won with a lead of 2 km.
Town hall then fired the rower on basis of the poor performance, and stopped all investment in the development of a new boat. The consulting firm was praised for their good work, and the amount saved was devided among mangement as a bonus.
So, where's the joke? Did you just accidentally post your MBA homework here by mistake?
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Last edited by martimer; Oct 16, 2011 at 04:19 PM.
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Old Oct 16, 2011, 02:55 PM
Danish? Don't U eat that??
DKChris's Avatar
Denmark
Joined Jan 2008
242 Posts
Yeah, you're right.....it's so close to the real world it's really more sad than funny.....

MBA.....me??....you tryan' ta' pick a fight oh' summin?? No way, I can actually be trusted to some degree!!!!! And I work for a living.....
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Last edited by DKChris; Oct 16, 2011 at 03:07 PM.
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Old Oct 19, 2011, 12:32 AM
That's my REAL name!
Graham Lane's Avatar
Italy, Umbria, Marsciano
Joined Jun 2011
141 Posts
My girlfriend invited me to her house. I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy and whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, shall we have sex?", I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car.

I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said:
"You've won my trust!"

Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car."
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