HobbyKing.com New Products Flash Sale
Reply
Thread Tools
Old Jan 20, 2010, 09:45 AM
slow but inefficient
Ron Williams's Avatar
Riverhead NY USA
Joined Dec 2000
3,097 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billymac View Post
The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska.

He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.

He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a Vote for Obama hat and a Save the Trees shirt.

The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing Go Sarah shirts came racing up.

One quickly fired a 44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest.

The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.

Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear.

Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck

The other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them men over to him.

"I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he proudly proclaimed.

"I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, "Who the heck was that guy?"

"Dude, that was the Pope," another replied.

"He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know crap about bear hunting!

By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"
Due to the recent decline in Democrats in Massachusetts due to mysterious disappearances (often in proximity to Alaskan pickup trucks) the local citizens have seen a marked increase in Republicanism as evidenced in yesterday's election.
Ron Williams is offline Find More Posts by Ron Williams
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 20, 2010, 02:38 PM
RCG -Minus Member
microflitedude's Avatar
United States, SC, West Columbia
Joined Oct 2009
1,443 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron Williams View Post
Due to the recent decline in Democrats in Massachusetts due to mysterious disappearances (often in proximity to Alaskan pickup trucks) the local citizens have seen a marked increase in Republicanism as evidenced in yesterday's election.
yes scott really did it. stuff like this only happened a few times in history.
microflitedude is offline Find More Posts by microflitedude
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 20, 2010, 02:40 PM
RCG -Minus Member
microflitedude's Avatar
United States, SC, West Columbia
Joined Oct 2009
1,443 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xpress.. View Post
NBC...

Nuthen But CRAP!
So true, so true.
microflitedude is offline Find More Posts by microflitedude
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 20, 2010, 11:26 PM
Registered User
Billymac's Avatar
United States, FL, Jacksonville
Joined Sep 2005
638 Posts
Why is it when your wife gets pregnant all her friends rub her belly and say "Congratulations!"


But none of the women rubs your d*&^ and says "Good Job!!!"


WHY???
Billymac is offline Find More Posts by Billymac
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 20, 2010, 11:28 PM
Registered User
Billymac's Avatar
United States, FL, Jacksonville
Joined Sep 2005
638 Posts
I hear there is more Democratic bait available in Mass.......
Billymac is offline Find More Posts by Billymac
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 08:45 AM
In the 20' glider range
anti-gravity's Avatar
Boise, Idaho
Joined Jul 2009
4,503 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billymac View Post
Why is it when your wife gets pregnant all her friends rub her belly and say "Congratulations!"


But none of the women rubs your d*&^ and says "Good Job!!!"


WHY???
They are jelouse
anti-gravity is offline Find More Posts by anti-gravity
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 09:18 AM
RCG -Minus Member
microflitedude's Avatar
United States, SC, West Columbia
Joined Oct 2009
1,443 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by anti-gravity View Post
They are jelouse
i dunno...
microflitedude is offline Find More Posts by microflitedude
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 04:18 PM
Taking care of the pond.
MILLERTIME's Avatar
United States, CA, Sanger
Joined Apr 2004
7,346 Posts
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain tithe baby's father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out.
They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
How ever, as the labor progressed, the husband felt Fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The Doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
MILLERTIME is offline Find More Posts by MILLERTIME
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 05:20 PM
In the 20' glider range
anti-gravity's Avatar
Boise, Idaho
Joined Jul 2009
4,503 Posts
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
anti-gravity is offline Find More Posts by anti-gravity
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 06:33 PM
RCG -Minus Member
microflitedude's Avatar
United States, SC, West Columbia
Joined Oct 2009
1,443 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by anti-gravity View Post
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
second that!
microflitedude is offline Find More Posts by microflitedude
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 07:05 PM
Registered User
Pudknocker71's Avatar
Debary, Fl.
Joined Oct 2007
2,314 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by microflitedude View Post
second that!
Third!
Pudknocker71 is offline Find More Posts by Pudknocker71
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 07:08 PM
RCG -Minus Member
microflitedude's Avatar
United States, SC, West Columbia
Joined Oct 2009
1,443 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pudknocker71 View Post
Third!
fourth! wups i was second. lol
microflitedude is offline Find More Posts by microflitedude
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 07:08 PM
Registered User
Pudknocker71's Avatar
Debary, Fl.
Joined Oct 2007
2,314 Posts
> Little Christian Humor

> This is one of the best clean jokes I've seen in awhile!
>
> Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better
> on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God
> was tired of hearing all the bickering.

> Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to
> set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I
> will judge who does the better job.'

> So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
>
>
> They moused.

>
> They faxed.
>
>
They e-mailed.
>
>
> They e-mailed with attachments.
>
>
> They downloaded.


> They did spreadsheets!

>
> They wrote reports.
>
>
They created labels and cards.
>

> They created charts and graphs.
>
>
> They did some genealogy reports .
>
>
> They did every job known to man.
>
>
> Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
>
>
> Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
> across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power
> went off..
>
>
> Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known
> in the underworld.
>
>
> Jesus just sighed..
>
>
> Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
> computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
>
>
> 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went
> out!'

>
> Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the
> past two hours of work.

>
> Satan observed this and became irate.
>

> 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all
> his work and I don't have any?
>

>
> God just shrugged and said,
>
>
>
>






JESUS SAVES....
Pudknocker71 is offline Find More Posts by Pudknocker71
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 21, 2010, 07:12 PM
RCG -Minus Member
microflitedude's Avatar
United States, SC, West Columbia
Joined Oct 2009
1,443 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pudknocker71 View Post
> Little Christian Humor

> This is one of the best clean jokes I've seen in awhile!
>
> Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better
> on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God
> was tired of hearing all the bickering.

> Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to
> set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I
> will judge who does the better job.'

> So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
>
>
> They moused.

>
> They faxed.
>
>
They e-mailed.
>
>
> They e-mailed with attachments.
>
>
> They downloaded.


> They did spreadsheets!

>
> They wrote reports.
>
>
They created labels and cards.
>

> They created charts and graphs.
>
>
> They did some genealogy reports .
>
>
> They did every job known to man.
>
>
> Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
>
>
> Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
> across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power
> went off..
>
>
> Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known
> in the underworld.
>
>
> Jesus just sighed..
>
>
> Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
> computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
>
>
> 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went
> out!'

>
> Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the
> past two hours of work.

>
> Satan observed this and became irate.
>

> 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all
> his work and I don't have any?
>

>
> God just shrugged and said,
>
>
>
>






JESUS SAVES....
great one! the non-dirty ones are always better.
microflitedude is offline Find More Posts by microflitedude
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 22, 2010, 10:54 AM
Don't look at me like that....
62pilot's Avatar
United States, AR, McDougal
Joined Aug 2005
2,801 Posts
Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teenager Is In Trouble

10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without their bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raising in full " Kiss" makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, " You Sucketh"

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by Jeb Daddy.

5. Defiantly says, " If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."

4. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.

3. Uses slang expressions like, " Talk to the hand, cause the beard aint listenin"

2. Was recently pulled over for driving under the influence of cottage cheese.

And the number one sign is.

1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.
62pilot is offline Find More Posts by 62pilot
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Category Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Joke Post your own jokes. Dtrimas Humor 21 Oct 05, 2011 09:29 PM
Post your maiden Voyage "JetiPro" Lv2Fly Foamies (Kits) 1 Jul 08, 2008 02:00 PM
The Blue Frog - Post your pictures & Feedback here! Hippo Foamies (Kits) 496 Feb 06, 2004 12:40 AM
Post your ideas for The E Zone here jbourke Site Chat 68 May 17, 2002 10:54 AM
Post your heli specs Dustin_v16 Electric Heli Talk 16 Feb 22, 2002 11:38 PM