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Old Aug 19, 2014, 08:51 PM
Howdie Doo Dat ?
Chophop's Avatar
Pleasant Valley Modelport
Joined Sep 2006
8,952 Posts
I forgot what it is like to get a warning or point so I removed the post.
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Last edited by Chophop; Aug 21, 2014 at 12:07 AM.
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Old Aug 21, 2014, 12:28 AM
Its all fun
Tonystott's Avatar
Australia, NSW, Forster
Joined Oct 2004
7,210 Posts
Yearly Dementia Test

Your Yearly Dementia Test
(only 4 questions)


No Looking Ahead for the answers ....

Yep, it's that time of year again for us to take our annual senior citizen test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Here is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to your last test.
Some may think it is too easy, but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.
Take this test to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.


#1. What do you put in a toaster?









Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast', just give up now and go do something else. And, try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, bread, go to Question #2.


#2 Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?




















Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is already over-stressed and may even overheat.


Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Womens Weekly or Auto World. However, if you did say 'water', proceed to Question #3.







#3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?









Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.

If you said 'green bricks', why are you still reading this? PLEASE, go lie down!



But, if you said 'glass,' go on to Question #4.




#4. Do not use a calculator for this:

You are driving a bus from New York City to Philadelphia .
In Staten Island, 17 people got on the bus.
In New Brunswick, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Windsor, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Trenton, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Bristol, 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
And, in Camden, 6 people get off and 3 get on.

You then arrive at Philadelphia Station.


Without going back to review, how old is the bus driver?























Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!


Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!
If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!
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Old Aug 21, 2014, 12:56 AM
Vertical Arrival Specialist
clinth01's Avatar
Townsville, Australia
Joined Sep 2009
319 Posts
Good Old Mum !!!

A Jewish daughter says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Nathan."
All he wants is sex, sex and more sex.
I am now the size of a 50-cent piece
When I used to be the size of a 5 cent piece."

Her mother says,

"You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman,
You live in an 8 bedroom mansion
You drive a $250,000 Ferrari,
You get $4,000 a week allowance,
You take 6 vacations a year and
You want to throw all that away...

Over 45 cents?"
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Old Aug 21, 2014, 05:14 AM
Registered User
asanovrus's Avatar
Ukraine, Crimea, Bakhchysarai
Joined Mar 2012
1,554 Posts
American and russian friends meet and exchange news. Russian complains: it is always getting worst, now problem to find food. American says: the same was here but here is what i did. I stand in front of white hause chewing bone. President saw that and now im fine, he took care of me. So you go and do it in kremlin.
Next year they meat again. American asks: how is it this time?
- i stand in front of kremlin chewing hay. Putin got angry: there is so much grass out there as it is summer but you waste hay.
Things got worst
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Old Aug 21, 2014, 11:42 AM
Howdie Doo Dat ?
Chophop's Avatar
Pleasant Valley Modelport
Joined Sep 2006
8,952 Posts
In America, your pocket has a hole in it but your beer bottle, golf course, and (correction) model airplane gas tank have no hole.
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Last edited by Chophop; Aug 22, 2014 at 12:59 AM.
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Old Aug 21, 2014, 07:06 PM
EIEIEIO Classic is dway ta go!
flyinwalenda's Avatar
Northeast Pa. .Heyna or No?
Joined Aug 2009
2,087 Posts
As I was wandering around the neighborhood this week worrying about all the crap going on in Washington, Middle East, Ukraine etc. and at how life is falling apart, I saw a yard sign that read:



​​

NEED HELP ??

CALL JESUS

1-800-005-3787




Out of curiosity, I called.



Later that day a Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
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Old Aug 21, 2014, 08:45 PM
Howdie Doo Dat ?
Chophop's Avatar
Pleasant Valley Modelport
Joined Sep 2006
8,952 Posts
I'm glad they brought us mesquite seasoning, pretty good on steaks and great on sweet potatoes (unsalted type seasoning).
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Old Aug 23, 2014, 08:55 PM
Unrepentant Paragon addict
LVsoaring's Avatar
United States, OK, Moore
Joined Jan 2006
2,704 Posts
A good one I just got from Mother in Law....
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Old Aug 24, 2014, 08:05 PM
Don't look at me like that....
62pilot's Avatar
United States, AR, McDougal
Joined Aug 2005
2,801 Posts
How does a chicken strip ?




One feather at a time....
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Old Aug 24, 2014, 11:29 PM
Vertical Arrival Specialist
clinth01's Avatar
Townsville, Australia
Joined Sep 2009
319 Posts
How To Find Inner peace.......

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,














Then you are probably the family dog!
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Old Aug 25, 2014, 07:30 AM
Registered User
stormysrider's Avatar
Australia, QLD, Numinbah Valley
Joined May 2011
114 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by clinth01 View Post
If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,














Then you are probably the family dog!
Actually that is my horses PD you have there!!
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Old Aug 25, 2014, 12:03 PM
Registered User
Joined Aug 2014
138 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by TravisBean View Post
"Ain't that something.....Asking to see Obama's birth certificate? The guy's only been in office 3 hours and they're already asking for his birth certificate"
"I'll tell you what. We'll present Obama's birth certificate, if Bush can show us his High School diploma"


Congratulations on showing what a moron you are. Bush was an officer in the Air Guard, a trained fighter pilot, owned and ran a pro ball team and was Governor of Texas . Obama was a community organizer.
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Old Aug 25, 2014, 07:55 PM
Vertical Arrival Specialist
clinth01's Avatar
Townsville, Australia
Joined Sep 2009
319 Posts
I still think I'd like to see his High School diploma
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Old Aug 26, 2014, 06:23 PM
Figure Nine Champ
madsci_guy's Avatar
North Texas
Joined Nov 2002
1,292 Posts
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Old Aug 26, 2014, 07:39 PM
Space power
cfircav8r's Avatar
United States, IA, Hampton
Joined May 2012
313 Posts
Wow! that is amazing, he realized his mistake and swapped the book around without anyone even moving a smidge. That must be it because internet pictures don't lie.
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