|Aug 30, 2012, 11:57 PM|
How many mice does it take to screw, in a lightbulb
(if you get it than put a face)
|Aug 31, 2012, 11:17 AM|
|Aug 31, 2012, 02:08 PM|
|Sep 01, 2012, 04:31 PM|
I hate it when my wife says you've got to take the rough with the smooth. I instantly know she's bought the wrong peanut butter.
|Sep 03, 2012, 08:03 AM|
Three little lessons on how to act in the workplace:
A preacher gives a nun a lift to her convent on his way to church.
Halfway there, she crosses her legs, incidently showing quite a bit of her legs. The preacher nearly looses control of the car, and it swerves out to the side.
The preacher regains control of the car and then lets his hand slide onto her knee.
The nun says "Father, remember Psalm 129...."
He removes his hand, but after the next gearchange, he again lets his hand slide onto her knee....
The nun again just says "Father, remember Psalm 129...."
The preacher removes his hand and apologizes: "Forgive me sister, the flesh is weak...."
As they arrive at the convent the nun gets out and walks away without a word.
The preacher rapidly drives the rest of the way to church and rushes to look up psalm 129....he reads and falls to his knees.....: "Thou shalt go forward and seek higher places, so thou will come to reach heaven......"
The moral: If you don't stay well informed in your job, great opportunities will be missed!
A sales rep, a secretary and the boss himself are on their way to lunch together, when they suddenly find an antique persian oil lamp lying in the street. They rub it, and out comes a mighty genie. It proclaims: "You shall each have a wish!" "Me first, me first" cries the secretary.."I want to go to the bahamas and jet around in a speedboat and not have to think about all the problems of life at all..." and POOF...she's gone.
"My turn!!" yells the sales rep. "I wan't to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my own personal masseuse, with endless pina coladas, and the love of my life......" .....and POOF...he's gone as well.....
"Ok, how may I help you?" the genie asks their boss.......he replies " I wan't both of them back in the office after the lunch break!"
The moral: Always let the boss talk first!
A crow is sitting in a tree doing absolutely nothing all day. A rabbit comes by looks up at the crow and asks: "Can I also sit around doing nothing all day llike you?"
Crow replies "Guess so, can't see why not....?"
So the bunny sits down under the crow and relaxes for a while. Suddenly a fox jumps out from a bush, grabs the rabbit and eats it.
The moral: To get away with sitting around doing nothing all day, you've got to be sitting pretty high up!
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