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Old Mar 07, 2015, 03:52 PM
Sopwith Mike is offline
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Slip the surly bonds...
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New Product
Scale Pilot's Next of Kin Association (SPNOKA)

Protect your scale pilots’ loved ones and join SPNOKA* now! No more worries for your scale pilots when they should be sitting firmly in their cockpits. They can look up, out of the canopy above, at the ground getting closer and closer, secure in the knowledge that their families will be carefully looked after in the tragic event of a pilot-induced error.

A simple one-time payment covers your pilot, whether he is head or shoulders, waist-up or full body. In the event of his being a write-off, his next of kin will receive up to five sentences of at least 20 words each of grief counselling, interment of the certified written-off scale pilot in a jiffy bag or similar, genuine recycling of the various components, spoken words over the remains according to the type of scale model he was piloting, and finally a no-expenses-spared posting on the RC Groups thread of choice of a eulogy for the scale pilot.

On payment of the appropriate fee and the forwarding of a photograph of the scale pilot, a certificate may be issued to the payee entitling their pilot to the full benefits of the Association.

In the event of a write-off, optionally, the next of kin can authorise a group trolling of the human pilot involved, written by one of the finest thread subscribers, chosen at random from those who have written 5,000 posts or more.

In the event that the Association has to be wound up, dissolved or placed in receivership, any remaining assets are to be divided in accordance with the wishes of the senior pilot.

Terms and Conditions.

1. Payment shall be made in accordance with the traditions of the Service. Use of PayPal is encouraged.
2. Scale Pilots shall be correctly attired at all times. If safety harnesses are supplied they shall be correctly fitted and secured. Oxygen masks shall be worn if required. Flying goggles may be worn up or down. White scarves are not permitted except during air displays. Helmets with pointed spikes are optional for pilots of the appropriate period and nationality. Moustaches shall be properly trimmed.
3. “Men in the Back”, gunners, flight engineers, second pilots and other crew are to be regarded as expendable unless the appropriate fees have been paid.
4. Scale Pilots’ Next of Kin are limited to spouse or partner and offspring but do not include pets.
5. Exclusions:
a. Drones and similar remotely-controlled devices.
b. 3-D models.
c. Non-scale models.
d. Scale models without a pilot.
6. Subscribers to SPNOKA must not, and never shall, post “Awesome” in response to some routine piece of modelling posted on any thread in RC Groups. Posting “Awesome” in these circumstances will automatically cancel their SPNOKA membership without refund or apology.

*SPNOKA and the Scale Pilots Next of Kin logo are registered trademarks.
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Old Mar 07, 2015, 04:18 PM
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I wish this was around years ago. I've seen so many scale pilots reach there untimely demise with out much regard for ther corageous effort to fly an underpowered plane with warped surfaces and high wing loading and to much control throws. In addition there always on call sitting in the cockpits in the hot sun waiting to be called into action,true heros at ther best. On top of that what have they ever asked for nothing, just a chance to be ther for you at all times.
When the aircraft owner makes a hasty repair that could end the pilots career , do they complain? I f you use bad parts say a puffed lipo in the plane , does the pilot hop out? Let's celebrate them and I would like to sign up as a life member now.
Do I get a sticker magazine or better yet flooded with emails I don't care about every hour?
Keep up the great work! Your on your way to being the next Bill Gates with this idea.
Respectfully John
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Old Mar 07, 2015, 04:19 PM
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PS this is Awesome!
John
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Old Mar 07, 2015, 04:27 PM
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My E.III pilot has worn a white scarf for years - is there a grandfather clause, or would you recommend a new scarf?

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Old Mar 07, 2015, 05:09 PM
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You brought tears to my eyes with this post, Mike. Tears of laughter. By the way, whom, may I ask, is the only fool who so far has fronted up with hard earned cash? Be warned my friends. All may not be as it seems. http://www.rcgroups.com/forums/showp...&postcount=413
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Old Mar 07, 2015, 05:39 PM
Sopwith Mike is offline
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Slip the surly bonds...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vonJaerschky View Post
...whom, may I ask, is the only fool who so far has fronted up with hard earned cash?
It's true that Frank "von" Jaerschky's pilots have been SPNOKA members for a number of years. And they have been fully covered during this period. However, the sad demise of his EDF Hawk was a priori post hoc ad hominen and the unfortunate next of kin in that case were left bereft and destitute due to a typical case of uninsured pilot error.

Flying his Twin Otter into a tree did indeed cause some scale pilot distress. The next of kin were immediately treated for shock and awe (some).

SPNOKA is a fully-funded, treasury-backed fool-proof scheme.

Join today before your scale pilots are put at risk!
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Old Mar 07, 2015, 05:41 PM
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Is there a group plan available? I have a number "at risk" pilots...

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Old Mar 07, 2015, 07:20 PM
Longhorne is online now
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Res Ipsa Aviatur
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Hi, Mike

Where were you when I needed you most?

I lost my favorite scale pilot in a tragic accident in 2012. It was heart wrenching, to say the least. I looked up to him. At least when he was flying. Otherwise he was generally much lower than my eye level. But I digress. He was my hero, in a teeny tiny way.

The hole is still there even after three years. I was at the field just today and as I was walking from the flightline to the port-o-potty I scanned the ground along the way like I always do You see, his head was lost there in the crash. After all this time I keep searching for it. And I'm telling you, I really had to go but I looked anyways.

I guess that what I'm really looking for is closure. Had I only known about SPNOKA, the grief counseling, and the internment plan, maybe these last three years would have been different. I don't know if it would have taken the dark clouds away. But I probably wouldn't have walked into the safety fence while I was on the way to the port-o-potty. That was humiliating.

Many thanks for the awesome work that you are doing.

Paul
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Old Mar 08, 2015, 05:05 AM
Sopwith Mike is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bwoollia View Post
My E.III pilot has worn a white scarf for years - is there a grandfather clause, or would you recommend a new scarf?

I have a letter from the SPNOKA solicitor..

Dear Mr Bwoollia,

I regret to say that white scarves are not permitted scale pilot wear unless, as stated in the SPNOKA contract, he is participating in an Air Show or similar display.

I remain Sir,

Your obedient servant,

J Pinchbeck

pp S Mike
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Old Mar 08, 2015, 09:19 AM
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Yeah but that scarf is awesome
J
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Last edited by jgg12002; Mar 08, 2015 at 09:20 AM. Reason: Spelling
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Old Mar 08, 2015, 10:08 AM
Sopwith Mike is offline
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Christchurch,England
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The duty officer at SPNOKA has sent me this message:

Due to an oversight in the post room, the very first batch of SPNOKA certificates were not sent out. I'm please to say that we have responded to customer comments and a duplicate certificate for Mr Herr Von Jaerschky will be in the post on Monday.

I do hope this puts an end to the negative publicity that SPNOKA has had recently.

I have also asked our underwriters to review the scarf policy, in view of Mr Bwoollia's obvious distress, although the office staff have commented that the wheels on his Eindecker look too small for scale.

Join SPNOKA today - you know it makes sense!
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Old Mar 08, 2015, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopwith Mike View Post
The duty officer at SPNOKA has sent me this message:

Due to an oversight in the post room, the very first batch of SPNOKA certificates were not sent out. I'm please to say that we have responded to customer comments and a duplicate certificate for Mr Herr Von Jaerschky will be in the post on Monday.

I do hope this puts an end to the negative publicity that SPNOKA has had recently.

I have also asked our underwriters to review the scarf policy, in view of Mr Bwoollia's obvious distress, although the office staff have commented that the wheels on his Eindecker look too small for scale.



Join SPNOKA today - you know it makes sense!

Great news on looking into the scarfs I often use them for a crying rag when one of my beloved heroes goes down. About the wheels you hit the nail on the head. I also don't think they used that type of plastic on the wheels until later in the war when the Eindecker was out of service. I'm not mentioning this to be a snitch just a friendly reminder to keep it real. Maybe the builder didn't know after all.
Respectfully John lifetime SPNOKA member
Ps perhaps we can pay extra for a platinum membership for those of us who are looking for a little more in their membership. It also gives some of us bragging writes or is the whole idea to " look at me" after all it's about the pilots.
J.
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Old Mar 08, 2015, 05:56 PM
bwoollia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopwith Mike View Post
I have a letter from the SPNOKA solicitor..

Dear Mr Bwoollia,

I regret to say that white scarves are not permitted scale pilot wear unless, as stated in the SPNOKA contract, he is participating in an Air Show or similar display.

I remain Sir,

Your obedient servant,

J Pinchbeck

pp S Mike
You might as well say that pilots without heads aren't permitted. Every flight is a demonstration flight with this model.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopwith Mike View Post
The duty officer at SPNOKA has sent me this message:

Due to an oversight in the post room, the very first batch of SPNOKA certificates were not sent out. I'm please to say that we have responded to customer comments and a duplicate certificate for Mr Herr Von Jaerschky will be in the post on Monday.

I do hope this puts an end to the negative publicity that SPNOKA has had recently.

I have also asked our underwriters to review the scarf policy, in view of Mr Bwoollia's obvious distress, although the office staff have commented that the wheels on his Eindecker look too small for scale.

Join SPNOKA today - you know it makes sense!
It sounds like the SPNOKA staff have a Freudian type issue with size and envy. Therapy and/or a surgical procedure may be required.

However, I have decided to register for SNOPKA despite any misgivings I may have. I will shortly be sending Mike 1 (Lebanese currency of course, otherwise it would be far to expensive for what it's worth) and expecting a membership card shortly.
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Old Mar 08, 2015, 06:26 PM
Sopwith Mike is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bwoollia View Post
You might as well say that pilots without heads aren't permitted. Every flight is a demonstration flight with this model.



It sounds like the SPNOKA staff have a Freudian type issue with size and envy. Therapy and/or a surgical procedure may be required.

However, I have decided to register for SNOPKA despite any misgivings I may have. I will shortly be sending Mike 1 (Lebanese currency of course, otherwise it would be far to expensive for what it's worth) and expecting a membership card shortly.
Legal opinion has been sought and it has been agreed at the Appeal Court that the Terms and Conditions of the SPNOKA contract may not be varied with respect to the wearing of white scarves. It follows that each flight of the Eindecker must be officially designated an Air Show or similar display. Contravention of this rule will result in the withdrawing of cover for the flight in question.

On the subject of scale wheels, RC Groups opinion is that they do reflect on the size of the builder's person.

Please do not forget to include a photograph with your application, for inclusion in your membership certificate.

J Pinchbeck

pp S Mike
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Old Mar 08, 2015, 06:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopwith Mike View Post
Legal opinion has been sought and it has been agreed at the Appeal Court that the Terms and Conditions of the SPNOKA contract may not be varied with respect to the wearing of white scarves. It follows that each flight of the Eindecker must be officially designated an Air Show or similar display. Contravention of this rule will result in the withdrawing of cover for the flight in question.

On the subject of scale wheels, RC Groups opinion is that they do reflect on the size of the builder's person.

Please do not forget to include a photograph with your application, for inclusion in your membership certificate.

J Pinchbeck

pp S Mike
I officially declare that each flight of the Eindecker shall be officially designated a demonstration flight.

I'll put my application on the first autogyro headed for Europe.
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