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Old Jul 13, 2016, 09:11 AM
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Funny Stories

I would like to make a thread of funny stories or thoughts, not jokes.
No point required, just something you think is funny.
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Old Jul 13, 2016, 09:11 AM
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The hardest phone call ever made was to a good neighbors wife .

We were sitting at the supper table when her dog came in the yard . They lived about a mile west of us at the time .
My wife said, "you had better go take care of that dog" .
The dog had been over chasing chickens before .
I jumped up from the supper table , grabbed a 20 gauge shot gun , ran around the corner of the house and fired up in the air . The dog turned tail with after burners kicked in .
Went back in the house , kids and wife sitting looking out the window down the road .
Wife says," you had better go take care of that dog" .
I said "I did" , She said , "well its laying on the road ". Yep there it was 100 yards or so from the house laying dead . It was a little miniature cross breed questionable breed dog . Died of a heart attack . So i picked it up and buried it .
Got to thinking about it and decided to call neighbors wife to explain what happened to it .

"Oh good " she replied , "I never liked that dog to start with "

From a discussion about shooting stray dogs and cats. Careful, it's a thin line legally.

http://talk.newagtalk.com/forums/thr...at&setCookie=1
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Old Jul 17, 2016, 08:38 AM
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He ain't Rambo, he's Runbo ! Watch him go, gonna get the heck outta that one. Haw haw haw
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Old Jul 18, 2016, 07:38 AM
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Be careful about choosing your words, don't say things like :

"I'm going to pass on the laxative."

That's a very confusing statement.
Adding to the expression helps people understand what you mean. Such as :

I'm going to pass on the laxative. Ohhh I can't take a laxative with the kids knocking things over all day.

However it's best to get things straight with more carefully chosen words, such as :

I do not want to take a laxative.

Now they understand at the first try.
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Old Jul 18, 2016, 10:06 AM
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Kids they do the darnedest things. They always want what they can't have.
So how would it go if you told them not to take any of these laxatives ? Those dope users take those things to make their dope work better. And you are just going to have to grunt and strain you lazy bum, nothing comes easy in this world.
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Old Jul 20, 2016, 05:48 PM
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Famous last words of a student pilot in a Cessna 150 with no other option than a CAT IIIB landing :

I was able to do this on Microsoft Flight Simulator. (someone else quoted that)

On my second solo I got back in on a marginal CAT III (come to think of it), the cockpit view was only slightly better than this. I could see the first few edge lights. I was just chuckling to myself, really.
I was having too much fun and decided to stay up 1/2 hour longer than I planed to. Within minutes, conditions degraded to very close to this. All I could see were the runway lights. Got radar assistance, did the approach on instruments. I knew I'd make it. Cause I DID practice IFR on MS FS.
I had a good feeling about that one and that I'd have a good story to tell some some day.

Just don't stay up 1/2 hour longer than you tell the FBO you are going to.
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Old Jul 20, 2016, 06:05 PM
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i am thinking........................i got to clean mine up i'll get back to it ,
good idea ,
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Old Jul 20, 2016, 11:21 PM
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I still laugh when i think about Stuart A's post after the video , but i am a 52 year old child , thats what the wife says .
http://www.rcgroups.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2701966
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Old Jul 21, 2016, 08:02 AM
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I thought about this, it is raw, but decided the young ones need to see what their careless life styles can lead them to be.

Poke Salad Annie and Salmon Creek Sally were fighting over Fish Head Fred.
Salmon Creek Sally said you know this is MY alley,
And if you try to steal Fred you're dead.
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Old Jul 21, 2016, 09:21 AM
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Oh what a catch !
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Old Yesterday, 12:08 PM
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So, what do you call "it" ? You can't call it , it, you have to use some perfumed word that is not really "it". You can call it, it, when you are upset, but will be criticized for saying "it" if you say it more than once and be told to shut that "it" up.
I've seen it and I've seen Shinola. And I know it from Shinola. I still can't call it, it.

So why can't I call it, it ? They finally tell me, if you call it, it, then people know it's it, and it's hard enough as it is to find someone to shovel it.
Do you know how hard it is to find someone to shovel it for you ?

I can't call "it" processed food either. Because no one will eat processed food if it has the same name as "it". well, processed food IS "it". Goes out the same way it went in doesn't it ?
Ok, ok, I'll pretend there is no such thing as "it".
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Old Today, 04:25 AM
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bad idea, deleted
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