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Old Apr 04, 2012, 09:33 PM
Shanghai'd Expat
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Somali Pirates Refuse to Board Cruise Ships

Some humor to start your day from Andy Borowitz.

APRIL 4, 2012

Citing Safety Concerns, Somali Pirates Refuse to Board Cruise Ships
Fire, Capsizing Top Pirates’ Concerns, Spokesman Says




MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) – In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise industry, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board cruise ships, citing “unsafe working conditions.”

“If the cruise ship industry thinks that it’s going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined,” said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. “We Somali pirates may be bold, but we’re not crazy.”

The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the cruise ship Azamara Quest “has sent a shiver through the pirate community.”

“We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with boats bursting into flames,” he said. “And don’t get me started on capsizing. If you want to call us rats deserting a sinking ship, so be it.”

When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board cruise ships in the future, he responded, “I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a cruise ship of its booty over Easter Break, they should make alternative plans.”

Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for cruise industry, said that the cruise ship companies “would be working overtime to win back the pirates’ trust.”

In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, the industry would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: “Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno.”
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Old Apr 04, 2012, 10:43 PM
Taking care of the pond.
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They're a bunch of sissies.
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Old Apr 04, 2012, 10:54 PM
Grumpa Tom
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lol....
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Old Apr 04, 2012, 11:28 PM
Taking care of the pond.
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I was going to use the (P) word, but I can't afford any more points.
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 12:00 AM
Cheif Bottlewasher
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Look at the ratio..6 pirates--2000 people ---300 crew...
say 100crounds off ammo each..A pirate may as well shoot himself,probably better than whats instore once the thunder sticks fall silent.
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 10:28 AM
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Awesome, I'd like to shake the hand of the reporter....wearing an oven mitt, of course.
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 10:57 AM
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Now THAT is funny !
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 12:07 PM
"day ain't over yet-"
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The pirates avoid cruise ships now because of the SWAT teams onboard---.
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 12:20 PM
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Dont forget bad food too !
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 12:34 PM
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Raleigh NC
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they most likely fear the bar tab, doesn't matter who you are, NOBODY leaves a cruise ship without paying thier bar tab!!!!

"okay we have agreed to pay your 2million dollar ransom demand, subtacting that from your bar bill still has you owing 1.2 million and 53 cents, cash or credit card will be fine."
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 07:34 PM
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The question again is of intelligence (do they have any), the Dutch destroyer Tromp has been attacked twice in the last two years. It is not exactly like she is a Q-ship trying to be attacked, it they cannot tell the difference between a destroyer (DDG in this case) and a merchant then they are not too high on the mental food chain.
Foo
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 09:26 PM
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They would be appropriate to use as chum, perhaps.

Andy
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Old Apr 06, 2012, 09:28 PM
Cheif Bottlewasher
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Maybe they still have the WWII U Boat manual of ship silhouettes...
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Old Apr 07, 2012, 09:01 AM
"day ain't over yet-"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fooman2008 View Post
The question again is of intelligence (do they have any), the Dutch destroyer Tromp has been attacked twice in the last two years. It is not exactly like she is a Q-ship trying to be attacked, it they cannot tell the difference between a destroyer (DDG in this case) and a merchant then they are not too high on the mental food chain.
Foo
Most of these Somali pirates seem to be young punks with more bravado than brains---.
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Old Apr 07, 2012, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by der kapitan View Post
Most of these Somali pirates seem to be young punks with more bravado than brains---.
aka teenagers.
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