You really have a beautiful place to sail! The drought here in California has gotten to a point that unless we start getting some serious rainfall we may have to all use the ocean as our place to sail
Not to that point yet, but one wonders when this will end We are cursed with a state government that would rather build a 60 billion dollar bullet train no one will use, than to build new desalination plants, dams and water retention systems.
One wonders how these folks stay in power Most of us think water is a bit higher on the priority list than a freakin train!
Thought this one might bring a smile.
A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs ) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.'
"No, Lady", he replied. "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help!"
United States, MI, Grosse Pointe
Joined Nov 2011
" I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "what brings you in today?" I looked at her, and said, I'm interested in buying a refrigerator. She didn't quite know how to respond. Am I getting to be that age?
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the
ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it 'Pumping Rust'.
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say,
'No, it's for company!'
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.
I think you should write, 'An ambulance.'
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older.
Then it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
Birds of a feather flock together and then crap on your car.
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat
have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...
United States, MI, Grosse Pointe
Joined Nov 2011
> Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.
> a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a
> 22 year
> old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of
> field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA)
> courthouse, Lawrence
> was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and
> public intoxication. The suspect explained that he was passing a
> pumpkin patch
> on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop.
> 'You know how
> a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around
> for miles,
> or at least I thought there was no one around' he stated. Lawrence
> went on to
> say that he pulled over to the side of kthe road, picked out a
> pumpkin that he
> felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded
> satisfy his
> pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he
> commented with evident embarrassment.
> In the process of doing the deed,
> Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was
> unaware of
> audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.
> 'It was an
> unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked
> up to
> Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'
> Deputy Taylor went on
> to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ...
> 'I said: 'Excuse me
> sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'
> He froze
> and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked
> straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin?
> Sh _ t ... is it midnight
> already?' The court (and the judge) could not contain their
> laughter. Lawrence
> was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10.
> and sent on his way.
> Name printed in the local paper: priceless.
> The Washington Post wrote an
> article describing this as "The
> best come-back line ever."
Like to Welcome Tug365 from Duarte, CA to the Nirvana owner's group.
He just got a Nirvana and I' am sure will have a number of questions.
As has been our practice in the past in welcoming new owners to the thread, I've suggested he read through the Nirvana to learn about his new boat and to get to experience the good times we've had here over the years.
I understand the current drop of activity here, but suspect as time marches on, this great resource of information will carry on.
We all get older, and values and interests change, new boats come around that attract attention, so it is not a surprise to see the decline in activity.
Nonetheless, the Nirvana continues to be, if not the best, certainly one of the best boats around. It is certainly of the most reliable, durable and trouble free models ever produced.
Hmmm....sure is a lot of barney fife activity here of late...looks like John got it again. Don't give up John...your like a cat with 9 lives dude...mon back!
Welcome newbies to the thread...yes it has been slow in part to the mods and in part to a change in Nirvana activity (at least on my part). I'm sailing today with at least 4 others, but I doubt a Nirvana will show up. Seems the Dragon has taken over at our pond and I'm sailing my Yamaha today. So what happens is no Nirvana pics. I am retiring in a few months so I hope to get more time to sail.
But let me bring break out short film from the vault just to help keep things on track. This is about our Capt. Murphy AKA George of the Jungle....