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Old Dec 05, 2009, 03:54 PM
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GWFAMI's Avatar
Kansas
Joined Jul 2005
182 Posts
Joke
Things I don't wan't to hear on Tuesday

Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

2. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness."

3. Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!

4. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

5. Hand me that... uh... that uh... that thingy there.

6. Oh no! Where's my Rolex.

7. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?

8. There go the lights again?

9. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys? and this guy's got two of 'em."

10. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

11. Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing off my concentration.

12. What's this doing here?

13. I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

14. That's cool. Now can you make his leg twitch by pressing that one?!

15. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

16. Sterile schmerile. The floor's clean, right?

17. OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

18. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

19. Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?

20. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

21. What do you mean "You want a divorce?!?"

22. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

23. Oh no! Page 47 of the manual is missing!


Having a microdiscectomy on Tuesday, hopefully will get rid of this back pain.
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Old Dec 05, 2009, 04:17 PM
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Pudknocker71's Avatar
Debary, Fl.
Joined Oct 2007
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..or the use of the word OOPS in anyway.

Sounds like what my father had done. My father is now pain free. Hope all works out well for you.
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Old Dec 05, 2009, 05:05 PM
semper mitis
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Paducah, Kentucky
Joined Nov 2004
903 Posts
24. Can anyone tell me is that a piece of the disc or the spinal cord?

25. What day is it? I can't believe I'm still hungover.

26. You know...last year I couldn't spell neurosurgeon now thank's to that online university I am one.

Good luck on Tuesday.
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Old Dec 05, 2009, 05:15 PM
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I'm not a surgeon...but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night.
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Old Dec 05, 2009, 05:34 PM
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Tulare, CA.
Joined Feb 2009
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Im not a doctor, but I play one on t.v.
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Old Dec 06, 2009, 10:58 AM
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Australia, NSW, Forster
Joined Oct 2004
7,122 Posts
GWFami, go for it, you won't look back (without incredible pain - only jokin'!!!)

I have had a laminectomy, and then a double spinal fusion, and my back has never given me a moment's trouble since (14 years and counting)

Here's what is in my back. Those titanium screws are 6mm diameter by 2 1/2 inches long. After the first year or so, the three vertabrae fused, so the screws are no longer necessary, but nobody ain't gettin' them back from me!
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Old Dec 06, 2009, 03:18 PM
Don't look at me like that....
62pilot's Avatar
United States, AR, McDougal
Joined Aug 2005
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Hey nurse, can you google aorta ?
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Old Dec 06, 2009, 08:27 PM
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GWFAMI's Avatar
Kansas
Joined Jul 2005
182 Posts
"The neck bone connected to the ankle bone...."

Here's a picture of the nasty little bulge, only 1 of a couple that they will eventually fix. Its the one in the neck that has me worried.
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Old Dec 06, 2009, 08:47 PM
Not THAT Ira
Real Ira's Avatar
Coupeville, Wa
Joined Jan 2006
4,722 Posts
"Oh Man, I sure hope this goes better than the last one!"

Your in my prayers buddy.
Keep us posted.
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Old Dec 06, 2009, 08:59 PM
I meant to do that
littlewing78's Avatar
Eagle Mountain, Utah
Joined Jul 2004
1,423 Posts
*snip*
Doctor: "That should do it."
Nurse: "Doctor your sex change patient isn't until tomorrow."
Doctor:"Ummmm........can I get a suture kit please?"
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Old Dec 06, 2009, 09:28 PM
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madmike43613's Avatar
toledo ohio
Joined Jun 2006
526 Posts
Me Too

Gwfami,
Had mine done the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (actually my second one
). I wish I wouldn't have waited so long. My foot is still numb but the pain in my leg is gone and it's wonderful. The only thing that hurts is the 3 1/2" cut in my back.
Good luck to you.

Mike
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Old Dec 07, 2009, 06:58 AM
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GWFAMI's Avatar
Kansas
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182 Posts
Oh man, you just had to post that, didn't you. Now they're gonna have to give me extra anesthetic to put me under.



Quote:
Originally Posted by littlewing78 View Post
*snip*
Doctor: "That should do it."
Nurse: "Doctor your sex change patient isn't until tomorrow."
Doctor:"Ummmm........can I get a suture kit please?"
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Old Dec 07, 2009, 06:59 AM
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United States, UT, Salina
Joined Apr 2003
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What surgery are you getting?
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Old Dec 07, 2009, 06:09 PM
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GWFAMI's Avatar
Kansas
Joined Jul 2005
182 Posts
Micro discectomy left side l5-s1
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Old Dec 07, 2009, 06:17 PM
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SchiessCo's Avatar
North Hills
Joined Nov 1999
6,073 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by GWFAMI View Post
Things you don't want to hear during surgery:
"5-Second Rule!"

Good luck withthe surgery; back pain is miserable.

Pete
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