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Old Nov 01, 2009, 03:01 AM
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Klutz stories.

On Windsock we have a "Klutz Stories" thread where we occasionally post about stupid things we do. I'm not sure whether I just love self-immolation or whether I do in fact do more stupid klutz things than everyone else put together, but I'm the biggest contributor to the thread. And today I have had occasion to revive the thread in style. I’m shocked and frightened at how dumb I can be.

The weather looked unconvincing today so, being really tired, I was sort of glad to stay home and find time to get my much-abused fleet airborne again with some unrushed, crafty repairs. After some domestic duties I slipped off to the shed, re-started Phil Barne’s vac bagging DVD where I’d last left off, and resumed some patchwork repairs to the Vector and Espada. Being a bit of a pro at repairs now, I made good progress switching back and forth from part to part while epoxy set. I occasionally had to rewind Phil to catch something I’d missed while concentrating hard.

I’d fixed a chunk out of the leading edge of the Vector wing with balsa and pink foam and did a neat job of the sanding, making sure the foam and surrounding bit were just slightly below the plane of the wing surface. Jeff Irvin would be proud of me here. I used greaseproof paper to trace the desired patch shape, and misted Super 77 to adhere 2 biased layers of glass cloth over it, then cut the perfect shape. Mixed the West Systems 105, wet up the repairs and the glass patch, laid it on, and peeled the paper off. Perfect! I felt like I was in good company with Phil who at that time was painstakingly laying up the Kevlar on a HLG then vac bagging it. I then laid 2 layers of peel ply over the wet patch, then a piece of thick laminating film, and tacked it in place with masking tape.

Glowing with my cleverness, I then had a brainwave. Rather than use my normal cumbersome method of compressing the layup with bits of foam sheet, insulation tape, bits of ply and weights; I remembered I now have all the gear for vac bagging!

Dear Readers, some of you can see where this is going, can’t you, and are fearful of reading any further. Quite understandable. This is a disturbing story and it is recommended that you not read any further if you are easily upset by needless glider damage or gratuitous stupidity.

I got out the vac bag and fittings Glenn supplied, cut it to length, and neatly laid the Vector wing inside. Carefully laid some strips of old sheet around it to let the air out, and set it safely on a shelf where it would be out of the way while it set for 12 hours. I got the biggest of my collection of fridge compressors, switched it on and attached the tube. Byootiful!!! The bag sucked down slowly but really flat over the repair. “Wow!” I said out loud, amazed at how effectively the vacuum worked. This is going to look good! I thought, as a “CRACK” noise came from the other end of the wing.

I looked on in confusion, my mind trying to come to grips with why the far end of the wing looked weird. It looked sort of buckled inwards– reflections on the plastic?? Rather like a bad version of Windows ME, the screen went blank while my brain processed this new information too slowly until it hit on the right diagnosis and I realized that unlike the foam cores Phil was bagging, this was a hollow wing with a fragile glass/ balsa skin.

O*&^$OUI&T#V2~JKH@! Suddenly it was clear – the wing was crushing under the vacuum! In 2 milliseconds I ripped the hose from the fridge pump and waited for the bag to go slack. But it didn’t and I watched nothing happening, realizing the enormity of the situation. (Wow, it looks like the top and bottom skins are totally sucked together! This wing is surely cactus. Andrew Barnes will never talk to me again!). Suddenly I remembered the one-way valve Glenn had supplied with the tube. This time ripping the tube from the bag yielded a resounding hiss but the wing still looked more like a cross between a spoon and an egg lifter. I pulled the bag seal clips off to let all the air in, and held my breath as the wing slowly went from concave to convex.

It could be worse. There’s a slight crease where the skin meets the dragspar, but bending and twisting the wing doesn’t seem to elicit any movement.

I’m a worry.
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 03:44 AM
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oh cr#p where's my chippy.
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LOL! what a story, you must have shat yourself!
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 04:02 AM
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WiggleWiggleWiggle
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My best brain fart was when i was sorting my new pride and joy. My GWS ME-262. I had put a super duper 4S power system and was sorting everything out on the workbench. I plugged her in to check everything was going the right way. I was scrolling through the servo reversing menu when for some inexplicable reason I reversed the throttle channel. Fans instantly spooled up to full throttle and my ME took off across my shed. Went nose first into the cupboard and ingested some rubbish as it hit the ground and wrecked one fan. Damaged nacelle, nose and wing.
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 04:30 AM
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Andrew that is one that you wont forget about to soon i bet.

Shane
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 05:18 AM
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Aaaah, the thoughts that run through ones head at such times. While I havn't done that to a wing, or shot a plane accross the room, I have done very similar things. Stripped a very good fishing rod to rebuild it, and I always strip the epoxy using some heat to soften it. Got the last guide off, and decided to look at the beaut action of it once again. Put a bend in it and it just crumpled at the point where it was still hot. Wife heard me swear from out on the road!

Almost had a plane story the other day. Was flying with Steve/freebird at a local slope. Plane went over my head and I decided to dive it a bit to build up some speed. I only realised I was heading straight into the ground (and not over the edge of the slope as I thought) when Steve's Oh, oooh, uum got more intense and louder Pulled up as soon as I realised luckily-was a balsa rib plane too. I am sure I will get better.
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 05:43 AM
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This one isn't too major but its the one i remember at the moment.... it happened when puting together my Multiplex Moviestar recently.
This is a fairly rare bird as they have been out of production for 3 or so years so i was taking the utmost care on its construction.
The wing is attached onto a plywood saddle which has blind nuts in it. This piece of plywood is sandwich between the two halves of the fuse when its put together.
I applied some CA on one side and some kicker on the other and made whure i had the plywood section pinting in the right direction. I glued it together then realised i had that although i had it facing the right way i had it iun upside down!!!
I surveyed the situation and thought ... nah it'll be ok the nylon bolts will still screw in. A minute later i then realised although the bolts would still screw in there was nothing stopping the blind nuts from pulling out! Luckily i had bough some debonder the week before and was able to split the fuse again to correct it without too much drama.

Now for my number 2 best ever non rc related Klutz moment.
In a mates shed mucking around with his gym gear including a punching bag and a wooden handled skipping rope. Next thing you know i am wrapping the rope around the bag and i yanked it like a pull start on a mower.
Centrifical force sped the wooden handle up to hypersonic speeds and wack it hit me square in the temple and i instantly fell to the floor like a bag of sh@t! I seen stars like in the cartoons and i thought to myself ... what a friggen dickhead! I can still feel the pain!! :P
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 05:55 AM
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I'm still laughing! You're bringing some joy to a sad pathetic klutz. Those are so funny I've been reading them out to my wife. She's looking at me strangely with one eyebrow raised, while I guffaw and slobber on the keyboard.

P.S. actually, the above reminds me - I don't think our friend Nick will mind if I recount the story in which he was flying a powerful electric plane at a field near his farm, then some mates turned up to go thermalling. He put the electric plane in the back of the ute ... but he has a habit of leaving planes switched on. They drove about 20k's to the thermal field, stood around and chatted while they put the thermal gliders together. Standing at the back of the ute, he turned the big glider on and its flaps jumped fully down so he pushed the right stick back up to level them - and instantly a terrific roar came from the back of the ute. Startled, he whipped around to see the big prop of the electric plane heading towards him at max revs and he had about 1/2 second to raise his arm to protect himself before it hit him, lacerating his forearm so deeply that the doctor could see his brachial artery pumping when they were stitching him up!

Sounds funny but it was no fun at the time. Blood everywhere and Nick going into shock. The guys had to throw him in the back of the ute and race him to the nearest town.
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 06:54 AM
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You want total klutz story? Grab some popcorn, sit back and enjoy, I got a doozy!


Back in 1997 I was doing some vintage motorcycle racing, and it was the day before the state titles at Eastern Creek we were getting the old girl ready. I was doing some grinding to a part and got a piece of metal in my eye (yes I had goggles on, but sometimes it gets caught up in your hair or stuck on your skin and drops in later) As I have had metal in my eyes before I knew I had to get it out quickly, esp as I was racing over the weekend. I couldn't flush it so I knew a trip to outpatients was on the cards. About an hour later the brother in law calls "we just had a baby"

Cool says I, two birds with one stone, go up see the baby (my god daughter btw) then go down and get the metal out all in one visit.

So here I am sitting in the eye machine at Hornsby hospital with this guy poking a needle into my eye to dig the piece out.......this is where it all went pear shaped........

See, I have this "thing" with doctors, I hate going, and I started to get dizzy with the whole needle in the eye thing, and the next thing I know is the doc is over me asking if I am OK and my head felt like it had been run over by a truck. Seems I passed out, fell backwards off the chair and smacked the back of my head into the concrete wall behind, then ended up in a pile on the floor out cold! The doc helped me onto the bed and took another look for the piece of metal, which he said he was pretty sure he had picked out *right* before he saw my eye "dissapear" away from his machine! (as I passed out and fell away) He did, and it was out. Cool, I didn't want to do that again!

But here was the next hurdle. Because he had seen the force I had taken to the back of the head, he wanted to admit me overnight. I said no way, I have to race tomorrow, and after some lengthy discussion he only let me go because I told him I wouldn't race the next day (yeah right!) and I had a lift home with the missus. He did make me stay there for about 3 hours for observations.

So I finally leave the hospital at around 11 pm and get in the car, so far so good. But as soon as the car moved I felt sick....Not good. The very first corner Jackie went around, still in the car park mind you, I said "stop the car, I'm gonna puke" I opened the door, put my hand up on the door frame, and still sitting in the car, puked up. This is where it gets real klutzy! I have a bung left shoulder from old water skiing injuries, and as I was puking I dislocated my shoulder!

So here I am, sitting in the car with a patch on one eye, a lump on the back of my head the size of a football, puke all over the place, and a popped shoulder! I remember looking over at Jackie and saying "just kill me now, it'll be easier that way!"

I got out, put the shoulder back in, got back in the car and finally arrived home around 1AM, went to sleep, woke up worse than a night on OP rum and headed to the track. Very sore shoulder, very sore head, very sensitive eye, and one massive headache, I qualified crap on the friday and had to start from the back, but came back over the weekends races to finish 3rd in the NSW titles



Now may we never speak of this again
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 07:15 AM
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Put me down in the "I'm a dumbass who got thin cyno in my eye" group.

500mls of sailene solution later, they got it out. 500ml's through an eye is a lot. My eyes water just thinking about it.
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 07:30 AM
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Thats a classic Gouch, and FokkerU2.

Red n white: I was reading something a doctor posted somewhere about CA. Said they use it in eye operations and its safe as for you, don't stress about it sort of thing
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 08:06 AM
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Ive heard that super glue was invented for treating injuries in war zones. Got a big oopen gash ... no worries stick it together with CA to stop the bleeding. I think they still use a medical grade version for some things in hospitals.

Classic story Gouch, reminds me of a just kill me moment.

Take one slightly dodgy mexican pie
Mix with one bout of resulting food poisoning
Talking to missus one minute, next i am showering the toilet walls with gunk out of my gob. Leaning over the toilet bowl i felt the back end wanted to fire up too.... so i quickly spun around whilst still doing the technicolour yawn but with nowhere to chuck but into my hands! sickest i have ever been in my life.
Sorry if anyone was just about to have lunch.
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 02:53 PM
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Aaaah, this is classic! Truth is funnier than fiction!
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 04:49 PM
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Oh yeah. I do put cyno on regular cuts, gashes, etc. Works great. It just stings a lot in your eyes, and your vision goes blury.
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 05:10 PM
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How much did you get in there? I almost got some in there myself the other day. Was using thin wire to push it into a crack and spun the wire between my fingers while there was a big drop on the end. I saw it shoot very close to my eyes, then found a patch of hair stuck together that night
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Old Nov 01, 2009, 11:58 PM
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KLUTZ of the month award

Well this particular incident happened on friday just gone, after spending numerous hours reassuring my father that light sport aicraft are as safe as driving your car I finally coaxed him into going flying with me for the first time, as he is slightly superstitious he does not like to fly with family members etc. Any way got him in and gave him a quick safety brief, as in heres the exit and the handle works like this etc.. flashed the plane up carried out all the after start checks and runnups and zeroed the instruments. taxied out back tracking one runway for the other and as I turned left I heard a slight crunching sound followed by an indicated 3 degree lean to the right on the AI. So not wanting to findout what it was once airborne I cancelled the takoff plan and returned to the apron for investigation to see what it was, well 100 feet from the apron the right undercarriage collapsed and around in a circle we went pirhouetting on one wing firmly embedded into the ground. Now this all happened in slow motion and in one thought I was thinking W.T.F how can this be, I finally get him into one and we are gonna crash whilst the other side of my brain is grasping for procedural input, mags off, fuel off, power off etc, well I had managed to save the engine and propellor from damage due to prop strike as she was shutdown before we finish moving, so in eccence the show has gone well up until now with only the obligatory dismount to come, well in the 4 or 5 seconds that it took for this to happen and even after I released my harness to evac, it still didnt occur to me to remove my headset and as the cable from the headset wrapped around in front of my head and had dislodged from its holder during the rodeo it snagged around my neck and with the speed of exit gave me just enough slack to achieve a full legs off the ground horizontal inverted back slapper on the ground next to the destroyed plane. all I could hear from behind me was the old man pissing himself and unable to move with laughter.
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