Thanks guys! The condolences really do help. While every one is special, this little kitty was very special to me, he was 'my' cat and I has his human. He'd almost always met me at the door when I came in, and I was his favorite place for belly rubs and trading physical affection. I carried him home in my arms (he was a feral kitten) and he died in my arms as well.
This one really hurt because he fought to hang on to the very end, trying to stay alert even though he was so terribly weak he could hardly hold his head up until the sedative took him. Even then he didn't 'relax until the potassium stopped his brave little heart.
I know it is supposed to be 'for the best,' and that his kidneys were beyond repair and now he is 'not hurting' any longer, but I really have to wonder if I really had the right to make that decision for him.
As it is I am still coming to grips with the fact that he won't be waiting at the door or making his break down the top flight of steps to check around the corner of the banister ever again.
Blaze, on the left, is the only one left of Raider's little family.