Ignore avrdude... just use eePe.
For instructions see http://code.google.com/p/eepe/
and in particular follow ghosthb's "Quickstart" directions the basic idea. I just noticed that it appears his instructions assume you have my board (nice!) since it mentions USB. That should probably be clarified.
If that doesn't help you, let me know.
- Steven (SmartieParts)