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        30 lines that make you smile. Maybe..

#1 Don Sims Mar 15, 2005 04:54 PM

30 lines that make you smile. Maybe..
 
GOOD FOR A LAUGH ---------------
>
> " 30 lines that make you smile"
>
> 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.....He
thought
> he was God and I didn't.
>
> 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
>
> 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
>
> 4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
>
> 5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
>
> 6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
>
> 7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
>
> 8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
>
> 9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>
> 10..I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.
>
> 11..Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>
> 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
> medicine.
>
> 13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
>
> 14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>
> 15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>
> 16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>
> 17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
>
> 18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew
up.
>
> 19.. Procrastinate Now!
>
> 20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
>
> 21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>
> 22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
>
> 23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
>
> 24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>
> 25.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
>
> 26.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand
> times the memory.
>
> 27.. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
for
> a pig.
>
> 28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
>
> 29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
>
> 30.. I smile because I don't know what is going on.


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