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        Joke Things I don't wan't to hear on Tuesday

#1 GWFAMI Dec 05, 2009 03:54 PM

Things I don't wan't to hear on Tuesday
Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

2. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness."

3. Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!

4. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

5. Hand me that... uh... that uh... that thingy there.

6. Oh no! Where's my Rolex.

7. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?

8. There go the lights again?

9. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys? and this guy's got two of 'em."

10. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

11. Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing off my concentration.

12. What's this doing here?

13. I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

14. That's cool. Now can you make his leg twitch by pressing that one?!

15. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

16. Sterile schmerile. The floor's clean, right?

17. OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

18. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

19. Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?

20. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

21. What do you mean "You want a divorce?!?"

22. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

23. Oh no! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

Having a microdiscectomy on Tuesday, hopefully will get rid of this :censored: back pain.

#2 Pudknocker71 Dec 05, 2009 04:17 PM

..or the use of the word OOPS in anyway.:eek:

Sounds like what my father had done. My father is now pain free. Hope all works out well for you.:)

#3 gentle ben Dec 05, 2009 05:05 PM

24. Can anyone tell me is that a piece of the disc or the spinal cord?

25. What day is it? I can't believe I'm still hungover.

26. You know...last year I couldn't spell neurosurgeon now thank's to that online university I am one.

Good luck on Tuesday.

#4 Pudknocker71 Dec 05, 2009 05:15 PM

I'm not a surgeon...but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night.

#5 dirt torpedo Dec 05, 2009 05:34 PM

Im not a doctor, but I play one on t.v.

#6 Tonystott Dec 06, 2009 10:58 AM

1 Attachment(s)
GWFami, go for it, you won't look back (without incredible pain - only jokin'!!!:))

I have had a laminectomy, and then a double spinal fusion, and my back has never given me a moment's trouble since (14 years and counting)

Here's what is in my back. Those titanium screws are 6mm diameter by 2 1/2 inches long. After the first year or so, the three vertabrae fused, so the screws are no longer necessary, but nobody ain't gettin' them back from me! :D:D

#7 62pilot Dec 06, 2009 03:18 PM

Hey nurse, can you google aorta ?

#8 GWFAMI Dec 06, 2009 08:27 PM

1 Attachment(s)
"The neck bone connected to the ankle bone...."

Here's a picture of the nasty little bulge, only 1 of a couple that they will eventually fix. Its the one in the neck that has me worried.

#9 Real Ira Dec 06, 2009 08:47 PM

"Oh Man, I sure hope this goes better than the last one!" :D

Your in my prayers buddy.
Keep us posted.

#10 littlewing78 Dec 06, 2009 08:59 PM

Doctor: "That should do it."
Nurse: "Doctor your sex change patient isn't until tomorrow."
Doctor:"Ummmm........can I get a suture kit please?"

#11 madmike43613 Dec 06, 2009 09:28 PM

Me Too
Had mine done the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (actually my second one
). I wish I wouldn't have waited so long. My foot is still numb but the pain in my leg is gone and it's wonderful. The only thing that hurts is the 3 1/2" cut in my back.
Good luck to you.


#12 GWFAMI Dec 07, 2009 06:58 AM

Oh man, you just had to post that, didn't you. Now they're gonna have to give me extra anesthetic to put me under.



Originally Posted by littlewing78 (Post 13758289)
Doctor: "That should do it."
Nurse: "Doctor your sex change patient isn't until tomorrow."
Doctor:"Ummmm........can I get a suture kit please?"

#13 Bilbobaker Dec 07, 2009 06:59 AM

What surgery are you getting?

#14 GWFAMI Dec 07, 2009 06:09 PM

Micro discectomy left side l5-s1

#15 SchiessCo Dec 07, 2009 06:17 PM


Originally Posted by GWFAMI (Post 13747950)
Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

"5-Second Rule!"

Good luck withthe surgery; back pain is miserable.


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