Exciting, Limited Edition, Somali Coastal Cruise Package!

[Kmot]

Need to get away from it all and cut loose?

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The Coast-of-Somalia Cruise Package is the cure for what ails you. And rates have never been cheaper!

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Depart from beautiful Sawakin in the Sudan and arrive refreshed at Bagamoya in Tanzania, seven adrenaline-charged days later!

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Bring your own high-powered weapons (handguns are welcome!) or rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night! We even have an indoor range for those rare days when the weather is uncooperative!

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Starting at $3200-per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $3,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.

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Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing;

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On a budget? Rent a full-auto AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds.


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Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 .50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.

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Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not);

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Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!

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Free complimentary night vision equipment is included and coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.



Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.

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But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire.

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And we guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in port.

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How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots always staying within 12 nautical miles of the coast of Somalia. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".

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At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.

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Reserve your package before May 31 and receive 100 free rounds of tracer ammo!

Testimonials

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"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. What a birthday present!" -- Fred D., Cincinnati, OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda, MD

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J. -- Toledo, OH

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Act now, because cabins and pirates are limited! You don't want to miss this adrenaline-charged vacation experience, available exclusively from Cheney Industries, a division of Haliburton!


I received the above in an e-mail message and thought it worth passing on. :D

[herrmill]

:D :D :D :D ROLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like something you'd see on Real Time with Bill Maher. :cool:

[Hoghappy]

Now that's my kind of cruise....it's only missing the grenades for the along the side boarding party... ROTFLMAO :D :D :D :D :D

[Schrott]

do you know if there is any water skiing on this trip ?

[norgale]

Yes there is. They drag you along behind for bait. Ha! Pete

[Schrott]

Norgale, some people would consider that as animal abuse, me as bait, poor fishes.

But I wonder since this is Cheney enterprise, do you have one shot at one of your mates for free ?

[herrmill]

Norgale, some people would consider that as animal abuse, me as bait, poor fishes.

But I wonder since this is Cheney enterprise, do you have one shot at one of your mates for free ?

No, not on this cruise but it is featured on their Texas quail hunting package. They originally featured only lawyers, but have since added investment bankers & mortgage brokers due to overwhelming requests.

I read somewhere that Cheney has Rumsfield coming out of retirement again to run a campaign reeneactor package. :rolleyes: :D

[GreenAmphibian]

Hey, us old door gunners from Phu Bai resemble that remark!! Ugh... I mean we resent, ya that's it, we resent that old remark about door gunners.

[charlie eaton]

I'll take a cabin for one,5 LAW'S and a 20mm Vulcan with 10,000 rounds.

[SilentHunter]

Ha I love it!

where do I buy one of these cruises? ;) now thats a vacation. I'll take the .50 sniper rifle and a RPG combo. Although a mortar would be fun too

I herd those 7.62 miniguns cost like $100 per second to fire, so thats a good price they're offering :p

[fooman2008]

Tom what is that ship it almost looks like the side drop down or something (two different view of the ship) kind of interesting.
Foo

[der kapitan]

Hee hee---, this is a great little thread---. :D

Better sign onto this cruise quickly, because after a few of these trips, they'll be running out of pirates---. ;)

I almost feel sorry for them---, note that I said "almost"---. :p

[steamboatmodel]

I wonder if the is a discount if you bring your own weapons? Now where did I put the 600 Nitro Express and can I get the torpedoes active on my RC PT Boat?
Regards,
Gerald.